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    <title>Goddess Unknown</title>
    <link>https://nir.moe/</link>
    <copyright>All rights reserved 2026, NoirGif</copyright>
    <lastBuildDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2026 22:09:30 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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    <item>
      <title>2026 新年快乐</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/2026-lunar-new-year/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>我回想起，许多年前的一个除夕，我坐在电脑前，开着word，拼劲脑瓜地码字。那时候是在写小说还是日记我已不记得，但作为纪念，我觉得应该写点东西。</p>
<p>那时候大概是写了5000字左右，今天已经时间不早，大概500就收工吧。</p>
<p>受到沙拉碗8的鼓动，上周末去了]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/karaoke/">karaoke</category>
      <pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2026 05:25:41 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>我回想起，许多年前的一个除夕，我坐在电脑前，开着word，拼劲脑瓜地码字。那时候是在写小说还是日记我已不记得，但作为纪念，我觉得应该写点东西。</p><p>那时候大概是写了5000字左右，今天已经时间不早，大概500就收工吧。</p><p>受到沙拉碗8的鼓动，上周末去了时隔一年没去的卡拉OK店。这家店早7-9点是1刀一小时。我一个人喜欢去这里，之前跟朋友推荐过，但他们都不愿意早起。我一个人也能唱3个小时，而且这次我来的目的是锻炼呐喊。</p><p>不过我第一首歌选了「サンフェデッド」，可惜没有下载，唱不了（这家的Joysound是离线的）。于是唱了情绪的「アンビバレント」。不知不觉这首歌也有一年的历史了，去年七月左右公开的ETERNAL也未见记录。最近喜欢鸣潮的英文歌，可惜这是日语歌的机器，英文歌少的可怜。不然我就放声高唱 Then I’ll walk down the glory path了。</p><p>中间特地唱了BuzzG的 fairytale,，就是为了吼那一嗓子……感觉有吼出来，很满意。</p><p>最后爱包唱完（本来是想爱包结尾的，像无边无际的pi一样不是嘛），三小时还剩一首歌的时间，于是选了カンザキイオリ的「命に嫌われている」。感觉唱这首歌触及到了什么，我拼命地唱，调不着调、词也跟不上。最后结账的时候嗓子是嘶哑的。</p><p>那天晚上，我看到动漫群里有人谈论到被网暴自杀的英雄学院coser的事。看到例如「这时候还cos英雄学院」的言论，我感到，生命是如此之轻，而我们也把生命看得如此之轻。没有讣告，没有哀悼，只有朋友圈里的几行字，只有群里的谈资。不过，如果能相信自己纯粹的喜爱，并为其斗争直到最后，我觉得这就是自尊的最好体现了。</p><p>「さようなら、私たちに優しくない、すべての人々」（好长的书名）里有说「如果人是对每个人的死亡都能感到悲伤的话，世界哪里会有战争。」也因为如此吧，世界和平是大谎言，人们都是形单影只。</p><p>但就算如此，也让我们变得温柔吧。祝在看这篇文章的你一个好年。</p>]]>
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    <item>
      <title>Alaska -- Part 1</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/alaska/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<!-- entry -->
<p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766624121320.jpg" alt="">
临走前去的 Round 1，因为 SDVX 出新版本了。因为主要是 UI UX 变化，玩起来倒是没有啥特别的感觉。</p]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/travel/">travel</category>
      <pubDate>Thu, 08 Jan 2026 00:19:06 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766624121320.jpg" alt="">临走前去的 Round 1，因为 SDVX 出新版本了。因为主要是 UI UX 变化，玩起来倒是没有啥特别的感觉。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766624298517.jpg" alt="">Maimai 倒是一直都有四个人在玩，四个人在排队，据说这还是少的时候，多的时候会用旁边的小白板记人名。中间有一次我发现左边的机器空了，我抱着一丝希望看向旁边的人，其中一个人指了指刷卡机——白高兴一场。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766626242176.jpg" alt="">（没有人玩的）Gitadora倒是变化很大，换了左右都是美少女的新机型，还给音符加了上下箭头告诉你敲上面的还是下面的鼓，很好很好。为啥没人玩呢？……</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766627282867.jpg" alt="">Dynasty -dal segno- 是去年出的歌，但是我还没玩过。原曲的 Dynasty 就是那种，我很喜欢但是很玩不来的谱面，超反手。这个 dal segno 是原汁原味超级加强版，直接跪了。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766683897786.jpg" alt="">上去安克雷奇飞机的时候，能看到驾驶舱，我问乘务员可以拍照片吗，她说可以，还可以跟飞行员问好。交流障碍的我就随便打了个招呼就匆匆撤下了……</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/anchorage-window.jpg" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766702313115.jpg" alt="">下飞机后坐上的面包车，很久没看到窗上的冰花了。去旅馆的路上，车窗拐角的地方结起了雪白如羽毛般的冰，让我想起了不久前玩过的 Z.A.T.O. Asya 在教室里望向窗外，也是结着这样的冰花。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766704051479.jpg" alt="">虽然只有数十分钟车程，但是太阳已经在打算着下班了。大概是下午 3-4 点，安克雷奇的太阳就会落下。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="assets/image/alaska/img_1766735192363.jpg" alt="alt text">晚上出来填肚子时拍的雾凇。整条街都是这样的树。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766736823010.jpg" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766737056988.jpg" alt="">晚上出来填肚子去的 Taco 店，不知道为啥要给座位系皮带。 Taco 本身倒是没啥问题，点了两个鸡肉的一个猪肉的，我没吃出来哪个是哪个。店员小姐姐倒是挺有意思的，打出来的发票里收银员名字是 Jayceeeeeeeeeee…（略）。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766775768304.jpg" alt="">第二天早上去 Matanuska 冰川。要出发的时候太阳还没升起，天是蒙蒙亮。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766777967917.jpg" alt="">导游给我们讲了很多关于安克雷奇的事情。操着一口流畅的美式汉语告诉我们他叫 John，而中国的旅客们也可以叫他迈克，因为“John”容易和“这样”搞混。安克雷奇最高的摩天大楼属于一家石油公司。全市实际上只有两条主街，从一个地方到另一个地方开车只要10分钟。朱诺是阿拉斯加的首府，但安克雷奇是最大的城市，因为这里有两家Costco，还住着最多的人。平均每一千个阿拉斯加人就拥有12架飞机，因为有些村庄根本没有公路。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766779980508.jpg" alt="">我们路过了Eklutna河，或者说Eklutna冰川，也就是安克雷奇饮用水的来源地。我只拍了宽阔的 Knik 河。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766781957787.jpg" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766781663317.jpg" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766781718072.jpg" alt="">途中休息的加油站。门口摆着卖糖球的机器。最近1美分的林肯币寿终正寝了，这种机器以后也不会往里面包硬币了吧。还有那些用1美分做纪念币的机器，以后也会被淘汰吗？</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766782957721.jpg" alt="">路途中，John 给我们介绍了在阿拉斯加能看到的动物们。居高临下地伫立于树顶，却是垃圾场的常客；远看上去像一个黑色方块的白头鹰。越往北越危险的熊。他提到他家被熊闯入过一次，不过欲知具体如何，且听下回分解，他说。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766788231128.jpg" alt="alt text">经过两个多小时的车程，我们终于到达了马塔努斯卡冰川。中间还换了辆面包车，把我们送到一栋小屋，在那里穿上了冰爪，然后乘坐雪地摩托抵达冰川底部。从这里开始徒步。听说夏天的时候游客只能步行到那里，不能坐雪橇。我在这里烤火的时候还没想到之后会冻得多惨。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/IMG_0937.jpg" alt="">一开始还好，我的脚趾有点冷，但还能忍受。我们在冰块间穿梭。两堵冰墙中间卡着一块巨石，像是古老时代才有的拱门。也许不是古老，而是原始？毕竟导游说夏天的时候这里什么也没有，只有水。河流结冰后才会开辟出一条条路线，每年线路都不一样。</p><p>站在这巨大的冰块上，我还是很难想象它一直在缓慢移动。道理上我了解，雪落在山顶，把所有的东西往下压。但实际上，它看起来毫无生息和动静。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/IMG_0938.JPG" alt="">别处融化的雪流进这里的洼地，给小湖盖上了一层薄薄的水面。</p><p>最后那一段最难熬。我护目镜上的雾气结成了冰，前面的路根本看不清。我只能摘下来，对着它呼气，然后伸手进去擦一擦。这样管用，但也只是维持一会儿。我脑子里除了跟着前面女孩们的脚步，别的什么也没想。但我怎么看都分不清哪里高哪里低，不时踩错了地方。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766805583774.jpg" alt="">回酒店的路上，路上的雪像沙子一样，在风中来回飘扬。</p><p>又有些雪聚集在一起，在公路上画出凝固的浪花。而我们仿佛在黑蒙蒙的大海中航行。远处的灯光就像灯塔，为我们指引着海岸。</p><p>我低头看着那些“浪花”，尝试着辨认它们的形状。有的是怪兽，有的是猴子的爪子，有时候还像一只鸟。</p><p>John 忘了讲他关于熊闯入家中的故事，我也忘了问他。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766854644717.jpg" alt=""></p><p>第二天我们起个大早坐火车去Fairbanks。因为极光列车一周只有一班，所以我们的旅行基本是围绕着极光列车安排的。导游 John 前来送行，所以我问了他关于熊闯入家中的故事。</p><p>他说，有一次他没有关门，回来后发现熊在他家翻箱倒柜，把能吃的东西都吃了，除了他刚烤好的松饼。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766857086442.jpg" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766858074282.jpg" alt="alt text">刚出发的时候，天还是乌黑的。我看了一下车上的菜单，意外地没特别贵。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766867239397.jpg" alt="">我们中途在一个站短暂停歇。火车会经过一些居民区，他们也会坐火车出行。很难想象每次出趟门都要坐几个小时的车的样子。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766873695098.jpg" alt="alt text">在车上买的绘本。作者的 Shannon 也是住在这条铁路沿线的一座小屋，这次她也上了车。我读了她的另一本绘本，用 Twelve Days of Christmas 的格式讲了阿拉斯加的各种动物，从最开始的树上的一头黑熊，到最后的12只绵羊，都注解了他们的特点。感觉仿佛回到了童年，挺有意思的。我真真切切感受到了Shannon对阿拉斯加的爱，所谓爱屋及乌，她甚至把阿拉斯加的蚊子都画进了歌谣里。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766879172973.jpg" alt="alt text">咖啡车是两层的。但是就算做到第二层，看到的也只是无尽的树。因为后面有一对儿人来，所以我就给他们让座了。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766881958668.jpg" alt="alt text">在穿过山脉之后，室外的温度渐渐降到了零下四十度，室内都结起了霜。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766886395813.jpg" alt="alt text">火车上吃的晚餐。我倒不是特别喜欢肉饼。我更比较喜欢牛肉的口感，把它打成肉泥，是对辛辛苦苦长出这些纤维的牛的亵渎。薯片倒是味道不错。背景里的 chowder，因为同行的同学往里撒了致死量的胡椒粉，就留给他吃了，我没有碰。</p><!-- /entry --><!-- entry --><p><img src="/assets/image/alaska/img_1766918324534.jpg" alt="alt text">到达 Fairbanks 的当晚去看了极光。小木屋里的墙上挂满了过去人们拍到的照片。</p><!-- /entry -->]]>
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      <title>Anime Expo 2024</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/ax2024/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>When I look back at my first Anime Expo, which is already over a month ago. I can’t help but feel that it planted something inside me. Ta]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/game/">game</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/AX/">AX</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/anime/">anime</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/convention/">convention</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/falcom/">falcom</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/blue-archive/">blue archive</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/vshojo/">vshojo</category>
      <pubDate>Fri, 16 Aug 2024 21:00:49 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>When I look back at my first Anime Expo, which is already over a month ago. I can’t help but feel that it planted something inside me. Taking someone’s word, it is about “being yourself”, being “unapolegitically into something”. I have always been reserved when I show my interests, especially when there is someone that obviously dislike, or ridicule it. I will fix the grammars later.</p><p>It was when Fanimecon 2024 ended. I got to know there is another even bigger convention in Los Angeles. It was called AX. Imaigne axing. It made a bent in my mind, and I was having ideas of going there. Originally I was plannig to go even on myself, but I was lucky enough to find someone to go with.</p><p>We came to know that last year’s AX was a complete disaster in terms of the crowd. So we did some preparation. Bought a fan. And we reserved a hotel. Planned to go by car but took the plane in the end. Such a wacky journey. But I am glad we did it.</p><p>To jump to the end. I still feel a sense of being lost. There was some energy inside me, and I was not sure what direction I am going with it. I came to know about Vshojo, which before I only knew about Melody. Not even Ironmouse. I grew fond of HIMEHINA, and I am kind of picking up my headphones again – before I was like not listening to music at all. I wore my headphones, but played nothing.</p><p>Later I watched HIMEHINA’s live, and also Isekaijoucho’s live.</p><p>I am still going over myself. Over the fear of being judged. Maybe people will think “the dude’s just listened to some songs and called himself a fan”. But fuck you. Genuinely. Honestly. What is wrong with being a fan of someone or something? What is wrong with loving a catchy song? Being unapolegitical. Serving cunt. That’s it. Haters can go fuck themselves. That’s what I’ve learned from Fujikura Uruka, whose sang her original song in AX, with her initals as the title, F.U.</p><h1>Recall</h1><p>Due to procrastination, the rest is written a year later, on Oct. 12, 2025.</p><p>I missed the 2025 AX because of visa delays, but got to attend CCG, Bilibili World and ChinaJoy. It was a shame that I missed Togenashitogeari’s first musical appearance in the US. But on the other hand I got to see Wuthering Waves’ booths, got to play some new games’ demo. Games are not really a thing in AX on the other hand. I should put them down in another blog post.</p>]]>
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      <title>FanimeCon 2024</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/fanime2024/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>急遽参加决定！简单记录一下参加 FanimeCon 2024 的经历。</p>]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/fanimecon/">fanimecon</category>
      <pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2024 00:24:37 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<p>急遽参加决定！简单记录一下参加 FanimeCon 2024 的经历。</p><span id="more"></span><h2 id="Day-2">Day 2</h2><p>第一天是周五。我因为上班而未能参加。仔细想想其实可以请一个假的。可惜我责任心太强，在值班的时候没敢请假。</p><p>我本来是想说自己早早起床的。可惜那天晚上我为了A+小广耗尽了心血。中午起来，吃杯咖喱面（看摇曳露营买的），整理东西花了点时间，最后三点多才骑车出发。举办的地点是在San Jose Convention Center。骑车大概半个小时。Caltrain 两个小时才一班，所以没坐。现在回想起来，其实可以坐公交。以前不知道什么时候把公交选项过滤掉了。</p><p>哼哧哼哧骑了半个多小时后，穿着cosplay衣服等红灯的人出现在我眼前时，我知道我到了。我把车停在了SJCC对面的停车场。有足球场大小的一个停车场，满当当的都是轿车SUV皮卡，供自行车停的却只有在角球桩位置的一排。而且还空空如也。不过对我来说是好事。花了点力气把自行车锁上后，我揣上包，走过马路，进入了SJCC。</p><p>入门右转就能看到售票处，但是因为是下午四点，只见得用胶带和杆子拉出来的九曲十八弯的排队线，却不见一个人排队。也是好事。越过售票处，是发卡处，阿姨扫描了付过款得到的QR码，一张卡就打印出来了。她确认了ID，我就拿到了我的卡。以及lanyard和一个小袋子。袋子里是详细版的介绍，铜版B5大小，和一本小册子是简单版的介绍，单色印刷轻小说大小。我后来还领了一个How to Survive Your First Convention的小册子，是黑白印刷手订的，也是差不多大小。</p><p>大小其实限制了我很多。我何尝不想搞一个柜子摆塑料小人？可惜没有地方。如果买了大号的玩意，我的单肩包或许又放不下。回来可能也没地方放。我是不擅长断舍离的人。5年前去日本买的，月之美兔的木制小吊坠，挂绳断了，我还留在箱子里。绊爱的吧唧，我一次也没有戴出来过，也在箱子里。在名古屋的linear铁道馆买的SL书签，我到现在也没拿出来用过。也没有丢。两三年前去USJ买的哈利波特的交通卡套，我也没用过也没丢。</p><p>现在在用在skytree买的sorakara酱的卡套装工牌。</p><p>Fanime的卡也是像工牌一样，在侧面打一个孔方便挂绳。正面是Fanime酱，和ATTENDEE字样，反面是个人信息。这次的主题是Fan Prix，Fanime酱穿着车手服。这次有一个痛车展，第一天我也是先去那里了。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/fanime-badge.JPG" alt=""></p><p>不过在这之前我在SJCC里转了一圈，首先去的是Artist’s Alley，相当于dlsite的同人卖场。只转了一圈，没有买东西。现在想想，如果早下定主意买谷子的话，会不会有变化。毕竟零和一的距离，与一和无穷的距离是一样的。早买的话，说不定就会多买了。但是多买了会不会开心又是另外一回事了。</p><p>之后去了Dealer’s Hall。这里是企业摆的摊。里面是几个饮食店。一家是卖饮料、咖啡的，帐子是透明的，能看到做的流程；一家是鲷鱼烧的，一家是日式热狗。我买了一个鲷鱼烧。比我想象中的要软。软趴趴的。里面是红豆馅，我喜欢。在dealer’s hall我进门就看到了shiny colors的设定集，和lovelive的设定集摆在了一起。后来这本书就不见了，liella的倒是留到了最后。</p><p>然后我去了游戏厅。这里有一排排桌子整齐划分地排开，一些cosplayer和一些不是cosplayer的在玩桌游。然后里面是街机的场地。我！发！现！了！音击！真的是久仰大名，但从未摸过。也不知道提供机器的Game Saru是何方神圣，能从嘴硬的世嘉嘴中抢来一台音击搁在北美。还是联网的。</p><p>也有麻将桌（一台自动的），但是我来这不是打麻将的。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/ichibangai.JPG" alt=""></p><p>于是我不得不排着队打了一把。排队的时候背面的Pump It Up（大概）有四个人在跳合作曲，好不热闹。场内还有Maimai和太鼓，但是排的队实在是太长了。我打了一把星のダイアローグ（联动是真的多，注册新号的时候就听见「牢固因伯纳斯」「牢固因波纳斯」），和Marbleblue.</p><p>然后我就前去看痛车展。路上有碰到一个cos Gura的，身材也比较小，全身装备齐全，甚至带着三叉戟。我于是拍了一张照。这是我来第一次请求cosplayer拍照。也是实现了零的突破。</p><p>从Mariott出来，是一个小广场。一群人围着一个地方，人声鼎沸。我走过去，看到的是在斗Beyblade。我其实不怎么了解陀螺。印象最深的是ためにならない的改造视频，他想尽办法改造被称为最弱的Beyblade Tripio，凭一己之力拉高了这个垃圾陀螺的价格。</p><p>痛车展拐个弯就到了。招牌写的是SENPAISQUADxDREAMSCAPE。门口有个人按计数器，但是大概是因为下午6点的缘故吧，里面很空。进门就看到的是Vshojo的痛车。（写到这里，copilot说「我不是很了解Vshojo，但是我知道Ironmouse」，真的是胃里的蛔虫）。背面是德州牌，写着HENTAII。让人不禁佩服，要痛就要痛到底的这份气概。</p><p>我拍了挺多车的。有一个阿库娅的，车牌是「UWU 86」。有个更衣人偶的，连里面都充满了二次元气息。有两台LL的痛车，一个摆了一圈趴趴，另一个在尾翼上摆了一排趴趴。有一辆長瀞的兔女郎，我挺喜欢的。还有一辆毫不起眼的86，上面写着藤原豆腐店，摆在场地的最深处。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/loveliveitasha1.JPG" alt=""><img src="/assets/image/loveliveitasha2.JPG" alt=""></p><p>回来的路上看到了一个Neku，拍了照，他还摆出了那个听耳机闭目的姿势。虽然说「那个」但是我已经记不得了，现在看了下，是搭档放技能时做出的姿势。看完回来之后又打了把音击。仔细想了想，星のダイアローグ应该是这时候打的。后来我再次进游戏的时候，告诉我是活动第一名，并把我的光的卡满破了。这首歌我挺喜欢的，尤其是中间的突如其来的三拍子部分。最近在看的《终末列车》的OP中也有如此突然的打乱节奏。</p><p>说到音乐，感觉自己完全没在学了。之后去听卡拉ok了。虽然没有拍照，但是留下了学马的截屏，所以基本确定是这个时间点了。刚来就碰到两个人唱Pokerap，简单来说是宝可梦版的报菜名，现场非常热闹。以至于之后的歌在我眼里都相形见绌了。有个人唱了个如龙里的歌，有人唱「光るなら」，有个唱了个「God Knows」。我没有去唱，因为在队列的歌已经有4个小时了。</p><p>歌单在<a href="https://anime-karaoke.com/">这里</a>，基本都是10年以前的动画。现在要我唱动漫歌曲，我还真的不知道会唱什么。最近喜欢摇曳露营的Laid-back Journey，在这之前是终末火车的片头曲GA-TAN GO-TON和Girls Band Cry的片头雑踏、僕らの街。后者的话感觉有点难度，唱得不是很好。之前有好好学唱的是Engage Kiss的恋爱脑。为了能在卡拉OK唱，特地准备了，入脑了一段时间。之后单人去卡拉OK的时候发现rap部分不采点——不然呢……很久很久以前，我也用劲在学「恋爱循环」的rap部分。现在想想，历史是会重演的。</p><p>我看摇曳露营的直接原因是喜欢Asaka的Seize the Day，这首歌的活泼乐观的气氛像冬日的暖阳一样，打动了我。第三季开播以来，一天一集的步伐看的，现在跟上进度了。</p><p>临走时有个兔女郎挺漂亮的，拍了个照。现在回想起来有点不好意思，虽说人家刚接受一个采访，但是人估计也累了，还特地拿出鞭子摆造型。</p><p>最后拍了一个穿雷狼套的怪物猎人。中午的时候还碰到了一位穿麒麟套的妹子，可惜没拍下来。而且我也记不得雷狼套长什么样了，可能因为没穿过。要是记得的话我可能就会玩解放过头变成极限雷狼龙的破梗了。大概不会，我不知道力量解放英文怎么说。</p><p>摸着黑骑车回去了，回去的时候特地去银行取了点钱。这就是第二天。</p><h2 id="Day-3">Day 3</h2><p>这天也没早起来。这次为了早点去，只吃了两块快过期的白色恋人。就骑车出发了。在门口正好看到了Jo-Jo的cosplay集会。这个集会是固定时间固定地点，cosplayer聚到一起拍照的。鉴于我最近玩了Relink，所以我翻了下册子，打算去下午三点，碧蓝幻想的集会。</p><p>首要任务是饱腹。几乎没吃午饭，再加上骑车半小时，不搞点东西下肚怕不是撑不住。我记得Dealer’s hall里有卖吃的，于是就径直过去了。中途看到了OMOCAT的店铺，三思之后，买了一件OMORI里Aubrey的T恤。此处应该有图。我挺喜欢淡粉加淡绿的轻松的配色，和让人会心一笑的设计。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/aubrey-tshirt.JPEG" alt="Aubrey SMASH!"></p><p>今天买的是“日式”热狗。章鱼烧风味的热狗。我觉得味道不错，但是这是饥不择食的人的感受。当我想起来拍照的时候，已经只剩下鱼干片了…… 风卷残云之后，我在场内发现了一个巨大键盘。之前有在新闻上见到过。我在这个绿巨人用键盘上测了一下，结果只有10的WPM，乐坏了。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/sugoidekaikeyboard.JPG" alt=""></p><p>饱暖思音游。于是我就蹿到了音击前。由于未知原因，我被算作了少女歌剧联动的第一名，我的神乐光的卡片被直接满破了。说到卡片，因为音击可以打印卡片使用，第一（二）天来的时候，有人直接抱着收集册来插卡，实在是被炫耀到了。</p><p>我记得我前面有一个人打了Grievous Lady。为了表示我不是只玩联动歌曲，我就直接跑到音击的分类下选歌了。一开始时间跑完了，打了一个听没听说过的アマツカミ，后来再次打了 Marbleblue.，以及Don’t fight the music。我现在没法想象，这首歌原来的调子了——现在一旦想起前四个音，就会被脑子擅自接上Windows XP的开机音。</p><p>打完之后已经3点多了，匆忙前往cosplay集会。中途还因为想直接破门出去被保安拦了下来。到了场地，才发现我一个人物都不认识。毕竟只打过Relink。除了术士姬塔有点印象，其他的都是一头雾水。有一个长角、金发的，越看越像Hololive的那个わため。有一个人穿着睡衣，抱着抱枕也在其中。有一位蒙着眼睛胸部很大的。指认说是土龙。</p><p>我还是认真地拍照到了最后的全员合影。不知是谁说了一声「Time to do the raids」，大家就这样散了。顺路拍了HSR的cosplay聚会，有一个还是两个花火酱，可能是分身……</p><p>路上有碰到一个Needy Girl里的Ame酱，顺路跟着她一会儿，但是看她赶路就没鼓起勇气拍照。《伪物语》里八九寺真宵曾说过，不管多丢人的东西，加上「勇气」都会变的积极。所以这里还是斗胆说成，我鼓起了勇气，没有拍下照。</p><p>回去又在Dealer’s hall走了一圈。这次看到了Yostar的摊位。Yostar只卖方舟、碧蓝航线和雀魂的周边，我其实有点想买一个雀魂的放铳按钮的钥匙串。可惜摊位里没有卖，有卖的是一姬的，绿发和红中的钥匙串。因为是Yostar香港，所以没有蔚蓝档案的谷子，有点遗憾。Cygames的话，有一个GBF的桌游在展示，还辛苦了店员讲解一番，可我的WIT save失败了，所以记不得一丁点。只记得像三国杀一样有距离。</p><p>说点题外话，最后一天的时候，我还特地在关门前回来参观了一圈，有一家卖抱枕的，卖的是既有全年龄，也有R18的抱枕。R18的是用帘子围起来了一个空间，凭ID入场，在里面禁止拍照。我一进去，就被抱枕包围了，有几个Hololive en的，也有别的作品的。其实Ina有点幼，但是也有大的！我看了一圈之后就给店员点头示意，默默地出去了。虽然橱窗购物不好意思，但是买来被同居人发现更不好意思……</p><p>之后去了同人场地。没有前一天那么寸步难行了，腰包里揣着五张10块纸币，我抱着买点啥的觉悟来的。赚了一圈之后，买了一个各务原抚子的钥匙挂坠。我感觉凛的稍微好看一点，没有买，或者没有两个都买，是因为凛的卖完了。然后我意识到了现金的好处：用信用卡付款，要额外交税和stripe的手续费，10块的东西最后多花了两刀。之后又买了一个圣园未花的胸部鼠标垫。主要是因为玩DJMAX的时候我的右手是悬空的，所以想要一个掌垫。不是100%因为下流的欲望，也不是90%因为下流的欲望。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/nadeshiko-keypatch.png" alt="Nadeshiko"></p><p><img src="/assets/image/mika-mousepad.JPG" alt="Mika"></p><p>后来网上询问了一下凛的有没有卖，可惜没有了……希望AX能遇到。</p><p>之后参加了一个panel，是一个声优做你问我答。我是尽可能不听吹替的，所以我也不认识这个人。她讲了一些自己的经历，也给了一些有用的建议。印象比较深的：</p><ol><li>声优工作基本在洛杉矶或者德州，别的地方不好找</li><li>（对公司的意见）试镜失败了就不要发邮件提醒了，试镜本来就该是参加了就忘了的</li><li>要有工作之外的人际关系，有一些根本不知道自己声优工作的朋友，跟这些朋友出去玩能让她放松</li></ol><p>7点多吃的晚饭，吃的是觊觎已久的热狗。怪事，怎么又是热狗？这次大会，场外有一圈推着车的小贩在卖卷饼、热狗、快餐。昨天看到摊贩在热狗上卷了一层培根的时候，我就想着要吃一次这种罪恶深重的食物了。</p><p>吃完晚饭后去打了音击，蹦了会舞。是电音。我蹦的很猛，今天卡路里消耗过千少不了这八点半到九点的半个小时。当然也少不了之后将近一个小时的蹬自行车。</p><p>在这之后，我就想着去成人会场了。问题是，成人的地方在机场旁的希尔顿Doubletree，要么排队坐公交过去，要么骑车过去。想到我大概在那转一圈后就直接回家了，于是就骑车过去了。当我走近我自行车时，发现三个人匆忙从我车旁溜走了。我还在想这些人在干什么呢，才突然意识到——我的车的U形锁不见了。四下一找，发现它被凄惨地剪成两半撂在草丛里。这时我才意识到，那三个小伙应该是偷车贼。或许是因为我还用了一条弱鸡的密码锁锁住了前轮，他们才没直接把车推走。真的是走运。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/cut.JPEG" alt=""></p><p>尽管有这样的事故，我还是按照计划骑车去了Doubletree。走的是Guadruple river trail，夜深人静的时候，只能靠自行车的前灯照亮路面，偶尔会有露营帐篷用微弱的灯光来问候我。两侧的草无人修剪，长的就像凭栏遥望一般将头伸进路上。野猫悠闲地躺在草坪里。</p><p>到了场地的酒店，因为我只剩下了弱鸡密码锁，所以我把车停在了显眼的门口，寄希望于不像停在停车场无人问津的拐角，来来往往的人能察觉到有人在剪锁。进漫画区的时候员工看了ID然后给发一个手环，以后就凭手环入场。漫画其实也并没有什么色情漫画，有一点性，但是只是作为漫画的一个要素存在。也有Range Murata的画集，和一些青年漫画吧。夜市里卖的就是色色的东西了。场地大小大概只相当于一两条过道的大小，店铺数大概不到30。有的卖抱枕、有的卖画、有得卖塑料小人、甚至还有杯子和假阳具。虽然最后一个跟动漫好像没啥关系。不过话说回来，Dealer’s Hall也有卖D20骰子的，应有尽有。</p><p>有两个剧院，一个就是单纯的在放色情动画，好像是讲的没有生殖器的女性仿生人，没有几个人观看；另外一个剧院则是座无虚席，放的是历届Hentai MV Contest的获奖精选。有的是配合音乐的节奏，也有的是配合歌的内容毁歌的，让在座的观众和站着的观众发出了笑声。</p><p>回去的时候绕着机场走的，荒凉的自行车道，斑驳的路面，地上难以辨识的标记。</p><h2 id="Day-4">Day 4</h2><p>最后一天，我把车骑到了车站的Bike link，然后坐了Caltrain前往会场。</p><p>这次又碰到了一个Ame酱，这次我大大方方地请求摄影了。</p><p>此时已经下午两点，我饿着肚子直奔吃的地方。本来想和前天一样吃鲷鱼烧，但是面用完了，所以店家开心地把剩下的奥利奥发给了在等的顾客，我也拿到了一卷。于是就这样边吃奥利奥，边在Dealer’s Hall转了一圈，看了看抱枕。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/oreo.JPG" alt="oreo get daze"></p><p>Dealer’s Hall有BART的摊位，我领了一个车的纸模，两个萌萌的吧唧，和介绍拉面店的小册子。真的是，有谁能想到铁路跟二次元会扯上关系呢？</p><p><img src="/assets/image/bart-stuff.JPEG" alt="sugoi dekai"></p><p>之后参加了闭幕仪式——下次的主题是夏日祭典，然后时间是五月23-26。有印象的几点：</p><ol><li>一位嘉宾夸奖了Fanime有组织力强，几个月前就能把节目确定下来公布</li><li>一个不知道谁给我们发了免费的动森漫画小册子，内容大概就是被送到无人岛的故事。里面还有卡比的漫画，讲的是Dedede大王被魔法变成了一个玩具，直到遇到好心人，魔法才会解除。</li><li>好像没有了</li></ol><p>出来之后，我在场外看到了cos少女歌剧的三位。我有位朋友，头像自我有记忆以来就一直是那个长颈鹿，我比这位朋友看的要晚很多。我大概是去年（2023）圣诞节前开始看少女歌剧的。先是在亚马逊上开了7天HIDIVE试用，大致以一天两集的速度看完了。试用结束后，我才意识到，原来还有剧场版。于是又开了HIDIVE会员看完的。我个人感觉剧场版很有特点，用坏的话讲，就是更抽象了；用好的话讲，就是走得更深了。我非常喜欢这种艺术化人的苦恼、痛苦、无助，人与人之间的冲突的表现。不过我自觉不如这位朋友的厨力强，几年如一日地用同一个黑白长颈鹿做头像。我现在QQ头像用的是Furyu的动作游戏，Crymachina里的Enoa。她让我想起了很久以前流行的那种夸夸群，Twitter2的#えらい频道。我非常羡慕她能把「能好好活着，做的很棒」「给你满分」这样的口头禅挂在嘴边，她的这种积极的、懂得欣赏的心灵。所以设成头像以自勉。</p><p><img src="/assets/image/enoa.png" alt="给你满分的Enoa"></p><p>如果从一个局外人的角度来看coser的话，就算不会说，也会内心估摸着，coser长得好看不好看呀，道具花不花哨啊，服装质量好不好啊。这些确实是有欣赏的价值，也是看展的一种方式。但是碰到这三位的时候，我却被一种，自己喜欢的人物有人cos的喜悦所冲垮，大脑一片空白，什么评价都想不出来。</p><p>跑题了，就回家了。本来想着坐BART去日本城的，但是因为这天是纪念日，所以饮食店大多都没开门，所以没有什么去的意思。就坐Caltrain回去了。</p><h2 id="感想">感想</h2><p>本来说简单记录一下的，结果写了这么多……上次写这么多字是什么时候了。</p><p>一个主要感想，是如果能玩上更多音击就好了。都怪学马打乱了作息。而我在写这篇文章的时候，已经不在玩学马仕了，连每日都懒得领了的那种。时间真的是无情。但是在无情推移的时光中，如果能发现不变的东西，那又是何等的欣喜。从30年前的第一届Fanime开始，人们就有抱着这样的期待一路走来吧。所以抱着同样的期待，让我们明年再见吧。</p><p>另，最近时隔三年回归VRChat，所以打算记录一下VRChat的所见所闻所想，id是nowawawa。</p>]]>
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      <title>Sun Aug 27 2023 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/2023-8-27/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>我已经很久没有写博文了。</p>
<p>有一些草稿被丢在资料库里奄奄一息。看着它们，我为自己的想象力和发表这些东西的勇气而着迷。礼貌而言，这些文字尚待琢磨。但我已经忘了当时为什么写下这些字了，也无从落笔。好在今天有人工智能，让我交给AI完成其他的一个草稿。</p>
<p>突]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <pubDate>Sun, 27 Aug 2023 18:27:16 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>我已经很久没有写博文了。</p><p>有一些草稿被丢在资料库里奄奄一息。看着它们，我为自己的想象力和发表这些东西的勇气而着迷。礼貌而言，这些文字尚待琢磨。但我已经忘了当时为什么写下这些字了，也无从落笔。好在今天有人工智能，让我交给AI完成其他的一个草稿。</p><p>突然觉得我太消极了。我开始读这些草稿的时候，只是漠然地觉得这些草稿挺大胆，但是仔细想来，这也是一种反射性思维。人有快和慢的两种思维方式，快的方式，从我的体感来说，比慢的方式更倾向于自我保卫。“习惯性地反对”大概也算是其中之一。习惯性地自我贬低来避免进一步的反省，我觉得是我看到这些字的第一反应。</p><p>我挺感激 OpenAI的，让我少一块心头肉。说错了，是少一个挂念。</p><p>我选择了“stori1”作为补完对象。结果已经更新在我的博客上了。</p><p>女主角取名叫Neren的原因，大概是谐音“内敛”，至少这是我看到这个名字的第一印象。一个更接近的猜想，是来自“Sukasuka”（終末なにしてますか?～）的女主人公之一的Nefren。也是挺内敛的一位。</p><p>虽然我害怕看悲剧结尾，但是我还是挺喜欢的。所以我让GPT-4重写了一遍，但是还是给了一样的结果，我只好特地写上”Please finish the story with a tragic ending“。</p><p>两份结果我都放在那篇文章里了。如此两个分支并排放在同一篇文章里，是不是有一种，game book的感觉？在没有计算机的时代里，读互动游戏书的时候我们应该是翻着纸质书籍，遇到一个选择分支的时候，通过查找确定下一段的位置——这种古老的体验。我曾经也想着做一个网页版的互动游戏书……仔细想想，就算开源好像也没啥问题，只是我懒得写，加上实力不足。</p><p>故事结局带有些许《罗密欧与朱丽叶》的韵味，尽管比较简略但也算恰到好处。我并没有十足的信心能够写下更优美的结局。</p><p>我现在脑里空空，没有什么要写的了，就此搁笔，下次再会……</p>]]>
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      <title>Reappreciating Monika's Wisdom</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/monika-wisdom/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>Four years ago, when I was an undergrad and played <a href="ddlc.moe">Doki Doki Literature Club</a>. Deeply moved by her words, I went out to make a Pacman packaging script for a <a href="https://github.com/noirgif/arch-pkgrounds/tree/master/fortune-mod-monika">Monika fortune mod</a>. So that any time I type <code>fortune monika</code>, a paragraph of Monika’s talk appears.</p>
<p>The packaging script grabbed from the repository of a fan-made mod <a href="https://www.monikaafterstory.com">Monika After Story</a> – they kept a copy of the original game’s dialog in that chapter. During the years they have changed the file structure, and is no longer including the code verbatim in the master branch, but the file is still accessible.</p>
<p>According to Team Salvato, DDLC’s developer IP guideline, MAS can host the code because it is used for a mod of the game. Also, the packaging script is neither written by them nor for sale. Therefore, it seemed to be compliant so far.</p>
<p>Anyways, allow me to randomly choose some of them and share my thoughts now, four years later. And there are a whole bunch of sayings out there. And Monika After Story has been expanding it – how exciting it is! I imagine one day the fortune mod will include those new words of wisdom as well.</p>]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/game/">game</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/DDLC/">DDLC</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/Doki-Doki-Literature-Club/">Doki Doki Literature Club</category>
      <pubDate>Thu, 27 Apr 2023 18:03:24 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>Four years ago, when I was an undergrad and played <a href="ddlc.moe">Doki Doki Literature Club</a>. Deeply moved by her words, I went out to make a Pacman packaging script for a <a href="https://github.com/noirgif/arch-pkgrounds/tree/master/fortune-mod-monika">Monika fortune mod</a>. So that any time I type <code>fortune monika</code>, a paragraph of Monika’s talk appears.</p><p>The packaging script grabbed from the repository of a fan-made mod <a href="https://www.monikaafterstory.com">Monika After Story</a> – they kept a copy of the original game’s dialog in that chapter. During the years they have changed the file structure, and is no longer including the code verbatim in the master branch, but the file is still accessible.</p><p>According to Team Salvato, DDLC’s developer IP guideline, MAS can host the code because it is used for a mod of the game. Also, the packaging script is neither written by them nor for sale. Therefore, it seemed to be compliant so far.</p><p>Anyways, allow me to randomly choose some of them and share my thoughts now, four years later. And there are a whole bunch of sayings out there. And Monika After Story has been expanding it – how exciting it is! I imagine one day the fortune mod will include those new words of wisdom as well.</p><span id="more"></span><h2 id="On-Internet-Overdose">On Internet Overdose</h2><blockquote><p>❯ fortune monika</p><p>Do you ever feel like you waste too much time on the internet?</p><p>Social media can practically be like a prison.</p><p>It’s like whenever you have a few seconds of spare time, you want to check on your favorite websites…</p><p>And before you know it, hours have gone by, and you’ve gotten nothing out of it.</p><p>Anyway, it’s really easy to blame yourself for being lazy…</p><p>But it’s not really even your fault.</p><p>Addiction isn’t usually something you can just make disappear with your own willpower.</p><p>You have to learn techniques to avoid it, and try different things.</p><p>For example, there are apps that let you block websites for intervals of time…</p><p>Or you can set a timer to have a more concrete reminder of when it’s time to work versus play…</p><p>Or you can separate your work and play environments, which helps your brain get into the right mode.</p><p>Even if you make a new user account on your computer to use for work, that’s enough to help.</p><p>Putting any kind of wedge like that between you and your bad habits will help you stay away.</p><p>Just remember not to blame yourself too hard if you’re having trouble.</p><p>If it’s really impacting your life, then you should take it seriously.</p><p>I just want to see you be the best person you can be.</p><p>Will you do something today to make me proud of you?</p><p>I’m always rooting for you, noma.</p></blockquote><p>I recently discovered a program called One Sec. It is an iOS app and browser extension aiming to reduce impulsive use. It heavily leveraged the iOS shortcut (which I belive wasn’t a thing back then): every time you open a social media app, it will stop you right in the track, jump to the One Sec app, and ask you to take a deep breath. You had to wait through ten seconds to progress to the app. They partnered with Max-Planck Institute and Heidelberg University to conduct a study on the effectiveness of the app. The result was promising: the app reduced the time spent by 57%.</p><p>I set the waiting time to fifteen seconds. And I could feel its power already. Many times I wanted to open QQ, but decided not to because I had to wait a hefty amount of time.</p><p>Another function of it that I appreciates, is blocking those apps during certain time. Unlike screentime where you can only set one period of time per day, I can set which hour to block, which hour to pass. In addition, I cannot easily bypass it by entering the password. This functionality, actually, is much more helpful to my problems. Recently I went to a mental health consultation, and the doctor suggested that you allow certain time slots for communication, as it is  our need to connect with others. This app is perfect for fixing that problem.</p><p>As a result, now I have the time to play games! Wait, I started it because I want to focus on my study…</p><h2 id="On-Debate">On Debate</h2><blockquote><p>❯ fortune monika</p><p>Back in my debate club days, I learned a whole lot about arguing…</p><p>The problem with arguing is that each person sees their opinion as the superior one.</p><p>That’s kind of stating the obvious, but it affects the way they try to get their point across.</p><p>Let’s say you really like a certain movie, right?</p><p>If someone comes along and tells you the movie sucks, because it did X and Y wrong…</p><p>Doesn’t that make you feel kind of personally attacked?</p><p>It’s because by saying that, it’s like they’re implying that you have bad taste.</p><p>And once emotions enter the picture, it’s almost guaranteed that both people will be left sour.</p><p>But it’s all about language!</p><p>If you make everything as subjective-sounding as possible, then people will listen to you without feeling attacked.</p><p>You could say ‘I’m personally not a fan of it’ and ‘I felt that I’d like it more if it did X and Y’…things like that.</p><p>It even works when you’re citing facts about things.</p><p>If you say ‘I read on this website that it works like this’…</p><p>Or if you admit that you’re not an expert on it…</p><p>Then it’s much more like you’re putting your knowledge on the table, rather than forcing it onto them.</p><p>If you put in an active effort to keep the discussion mutual and level, they usually follow suit.</p><p>Then, you can share your opinions without anyone getting upset just from a disagreement.</p><p>Plus, people will start seeing you as open-minded and a good listener!</p><p>It’s a win-win, you know?</p><p>…Well, I guess that would be Monika’s Debate Tip of the Day!</p><p>Ahaha! That sounds a little silly. Thanks for listening, though.</p></blockquote><p>I do not know what to say about it. It <em>is</em> just about language.</p><p>If I say “I’d personally like to see …”, then if anyone want to dispute it, they are edging on dishonoring my taste. Unless the opponent knows how to give a less opinionated view, technically it is undefeatable.</p><p>However, I see it not part of a debate, as it is a demonstration of personal taste, instead of a statement of opinion upon a common topic. In this way we can say the way to avoid a debate, is to not start it.</p><p>But if you lay it down as a trap and someone fells into it, you can declare your victory by tone policing them back to a less emotional debate, despite no actual debate happened. As Sun Tzu said, “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” And I think this is one of such maneuvering outside the game.</p><h2 id="On-Socializing">On Socializing</h2><blockquote><p>❯ fortune monika</p><p>You know, I really do think you literally saved my life by being here with me, noma.</p><p>I can’t imagine having been able to keep myself mentally stable, knowing that nothing here is real.</p><p>I think I would have just deleted myself if you didn’t show up.</p><p>Sorry, I don’t mean to sound dramatic or anything.</p><p>Ahaha!</p><p>But I’m sure you understand yourself after spending so much time in the club.</p><p>I mean, if you were forced to abandon everything in your life and spend your eternity with a few game characters…</p><p>…You’d probably find some way of killing yourself, wouldn’t you?</p><p>Well, maybe you’d write some poetry to try to keep yourself sane for a while.</p><p>But then you’d have nobody to even read it.</p><p>Let’s be honest, the club members really don’t count for something like that.</p><p>I mean, a lot of people say that they only write for themselves…</p><p>But I think it’s hard to say it’s just as fulfilling as when you share with people.</p><p>Even if it takes time to find the right people to share with.</p><p>Like, remember how it was for Yuri?</p><p>She didn’t share her writing with anyone for a really long time.</p><p>And before we knew it, she was absolutely delighted to make you a part of her hobbies, too.</p><p>We’re programmed to desire social feedback.</p><p>I don’t mean the club members, I mean human beings.</p><p>That’s why life can be so confusing for introverts.</p><p>Being an introvert doesn’t mean you shun social interaction and hate being around people.</p><p>It means social interaction, especially in groups or unfamiliar places, uses up a lot of energy.</p><p>Like, a lot of introverts sit at home and feel lonely and restless…</p><p>…And then when they finally go out, after a half hour they just want to go home again.</p><p>I think if more people could understand how it works, they would respect it a lot more.</p><p>Many introverts do enjoy having people around.</p><p>They love just having one or two close friends over, and just leisurely hanging out.</p><p>Even if you’re not actively spending time together, it feels nice for them just to have you there.</p><p>I’m serious.</p><p>If you just go to their house, bring your laptop, and hang out there for a while…</p><p>You can really make their day.</p><p>As for me…</p><p>I’d say I’m kind of in between, but I think I’m usually a little more extroverted.</p><p>I feel like I’m always trying to do stuff after school and things like that.</p><p>But for you, I can be anything you need me to be.</p><p>I understand people really well, so don’t be afraid to share your unique needs with me.</p><p>Nothing would make me happier than being the perfect girlfriend for you.</p></blockquote><p>I can relate to it very much. It takes energy to be someone I am not used to. There are difficulties – being with people of different tastes, different cultures. Sometimes one cannot make out what they said. But the doctor helped me realize, it is OK to miss one or two such gatherings if you are not comfortable. Take time with someone you know – that is absolutely fine. I might have heard the word FOMO – fear of missing out but did not have much of an impression. Now I am the embodiment of FOMO. But once you understand it you know better how to fight it, just like in any game.</p><h2 id="On-Reading">On Reading</h2><blockquote><p>❯ fortune monika</p><p>noma, how much do you read?</p><p>It’s way too easy to neglect reading books…</p><p>If you don’t read much, it almost feels like a chore, compared to all the other entertainment we have.</p><p>But once you get into a good book, it’s like magic…you get swept away.</p><p>I think doing some reading before bed every night is a pretty easy way to make your life a little bit better.</p><p>It helps you get good sleep, and it’s really good for your imagination…</p><p>It’s not hard at all to just pick some random book that’s short and captivating.</p><p>Before you know it, you might be a pretty avid reader!</p><p>Wouldn’t that be wonderful?</p><p>And the two of us could talk about the latest book you’re reading…that sounds super amazing.</p></blockquote><p>Recently I read a book named 放学后的小巷 (lit. The Alley After School) is a slice-of-life mystery with a plot twist. Pretty much like Classical Literature Club series, it tells a collection of short stories where the protagonist uses induction to solve the puzzles. The background sets in China a decade or two ago, so I found so much of the book relatable to my experience.</p><p>But now I got a philosophy book to read: Herbert Fingarette’s book about Confucius. I haven’t progressed in recent days, and I doubt if I’ll make it to the end. I also borrowed Ibuse Masuji’s anthology of out interests in 山椒魚 (lit. a kind of salamander).</p><h2 id="In-the-End">In the End</h2><p>Except for a few philosophically or politically controversial things, Monika’s speech is hard to argue against. Not just because there is a saying “do not argue with your girlfriend” while she is “the perfect girlfriend”, but also because she is stating something positive, and something we mostly agree. “State the obvious”, in other words. But I definitely need such reminder, and hopefully after another four years I will appreciate it as much.</p>]]>
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      <title>4-9-2023 Diary</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/diary-4-9-2023/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<h1>4.9</h1>
<p>Date: 04/09/2023
Last edited time: April 9, 2023 7:50 PM
Weather: 🌞Sunny</p>
<p>I had a longed-for eight-hour sleep yesterd]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/spring/">spring</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/plant/">plant</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/grammarly/">grammarly</category>
      <pubDate>Sun, 09 Apr 2023 19:53:51 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<h1>4.9</h1><p>Date: 04/09/2023Last edited time: April 9, 2023 7:50 PMWeather: 🌞Sunny</p><p>I had a longed-for eight-hour sleep yesterday. Or today because I was awake around 2am. And I hurried to finish a unit in Duolingo as promised.</p><p>And I made the same mistake twice.</p><p>“에서” means “from”, and “에” means “to”. “가요” means “go” so it works with “to”. Meanwhile, “와요” — “come” — pairs with “from”. Next time it won’t beat me.</p><p>When I started the diary today, it became clear that I had not filled out the weather yesterday. I knew it was cloudy – I checked the weather. But I chose not to prefill it: I wanted to witness it myself.</p><p>And I witnessed a 100% sunny day today. It is 19C outside! Warmly lovely sun. I appreciate it. I can wear no tights without feeling cold today.</p><p>Are the flowers blooming? I want to check out the arboretum someday. A search through the Internet gave me nothing but rough dates, and even the arboretum home page gave me the image that its residents’ flimsy moods are unfathomable.</p><p>Instead, I found a planting calendar. It says that we should plant basil around the end of March here. I didn’t know it two years earlier. I received some basil seeds and a gardening tool set at the end of summer 2021. And I planted it after that. Despite basil being acknowledged as an easy plant, it couldn’t thrive. Its stems were slim and weak, its leaves small and yellow. The frigid winter in Wisconsin denied it the essential sunlight.</p><p>Like in <em>Klara and the Sun,</em> I wished the sun could bring it back to life. But in the end, it was in vain. After a year and a half, it dawned on me what went wrong.</p><p>Annoyed by Grammarly being fussy at small problems like punctuation, I found <a href="https://dept.writing.wisc.edu/blog/revisiting-grammarly/">this article</a>. It discusses the advantages and implications of these autocorrecting tools.</p><p>A generated summary of it:</p><blockquote><p>This article is about the use of Grammarly, an automated written corrective feedback (AWCF) software, in the writing center. The author, who works as a Faculty Associate in the Writing Center at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, revisits the software five years after first trying it and discusses the potential implications of using the software in a writing center. Recent research has shown that students understand the limitations of Grammarly and use it strategically for final paper editing. However, the author has concerns about what this implies for linguistic justice, as it reinforces a rigid and harmful notion of a standard English that’s earned its status through global white supremacy. The author concludes that, while they wouldn’t advocate for students who aren’t already using Grammarly to start using it, they will consider sharing information about the research findings when working with students who are concerned about lower-order concerns.</p><footer><strong>Revisiting Grammarly: An Imperfect Tool for Final Editing – Another Word</strong></footer></blockquote><p>This led me to think about <a href="https://twitter.com/Nishimuraumiush/status/1644690023420416000">a popular tweet</a> I saw. “If you feel disregarded, you might well have some language problems. ” It quotes another tweet that recommends elementary language practices.</p><p>I do think they both share an interesting point: making a problem to solve it. Grammarly gives low scores to articles and offers solutions to those nonproblems, to make people appreciate it. This tweet thrives by making people question themselves. It shuffled the focus from “Do you make elementary-level mistakes?” to a broader problem.</p><p>Admittedly, they are useful: Grammarly can fix many grammar mistakes; doing simple practices may strengthen confidence. But we should know our problem and not get carried away.</p><p>As part of the memory-switching test, I put the stick into another slot. My laptop shut down two times in succession. Again, too early to enjoy.</p>]]>
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      <title>2023-04-18 Diary</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/diary-4-8-2023/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<h1>4.8</h1>
<p>Date: 04/08/2023
Last edited time: April 9, 2023 9:58 PM
Weather: ☁️Cloudy</p>
<blockquote><p>The Internet is becoming our e]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/social-media/">social media</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/language/">language</category>
      <pubDate>Sat, 08 Apr 2023 23:59:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<h1>4.8</h1><p>Date: 04/08/2023Last edited time: April 9, 2023 9:58 PMWeather: ☁️Cloudy</p><blockquote><p>The Internet is becoming our echo chamber. That is true. But anyone who is not satisfied with it, who goes out of their comfort zone to broaden their views, deserves respect, not hindrance.</p><footer><strong>Gris Gif</strong><cite><a href="https://twitter.com/noirgif/status/1644586636766769152?s=20">Twitter</a></cite></footer></blockquote><p>Twitter does not allow anyone like or retweet Substack’s this tweet, nor my quoted retweet of it.</p><p>I felt sad for Twitter. It had to go out of its way to stop people from turning away.</p><p>Elon Musk promised it to be ‘open’, but social media can never be too closed — they want to close people inside them. It is a place where people only see what they agree with. If you already agree with it, why would you try to think otherwise? It is such a comfortable cage that you want to stay there forever.</p><p>I recall the Eagles’ Hotel California:</p><blockquote><p>You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave</p></blockquote><p>And all social media want to be our Hotel California.</p><p>While I use Twitter from time to time (for cute and sexy illustrations), I do not think it is good to be caged by it.</p><hr><p>Steam banned my review of Glare1more. When I read it again tonight, I thought it might be because I put the link to the developer’s home page.</p><hr><p>I happened to use Substack for a minute or two. I wanted to find a new place to put my writings in, and I searched everywhere.</p><p>Hatena, Medium, Note, Substack, Blogger, Ghost, and the list goes on.</p><p>Depending on my mood, sometimes I write in Chinese. And when I do, I want it to look good. These blogs share a feature, “What you see is what you get”. So, when I saw Chinese characters stand out like Yao Ming among some kindergarten kids, I knew everyone would see the same. It hurts my eyes so much that I want to cry.</p><p><img src="/assets/image/screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png" alt="screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png"></p><p>It takes no effort to give Chinese characters a closer look to Japanese ones, so they look good side by side.</p><p>But none of them cares.</p><p>Or it is just me — my computers and my phone use English because I prefer everything to be in the same language. And being English, they do not know about Chinese characters, so they do their best — which is another way of saying do their worst.</p><p>Using English on my phone also hurts me in a way I haven’t thought of:</p><p>I bought most of my Japanese books through Bookwalker. But Bookwalker must be unhappy with me using English — it does not want to show the Japanese books but its translated books in stead. I like reading books or playing games in their original languages.And it’s 12pm now. I missed Duolingo’s booster. I will get it tomorrow.</p><p>The restaurant that I wanted to visit closes on Saturdays — I will be back…</p><p>I had hot pot with my roommate for dinner. Recently we ate together twice, but not in the last two years. That is something notable.</p><p>After dinner I went to school — I feel it better than spending time at home, looking at social media. If only I could read books at home.</p>]]>
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      <title>diary-4-7-2023</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/diary-4-7-2023/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>I bought Fedora Remix for WSL. I feel the urge to support. Dev tool companies need money to run, but people are much less fancied by the]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/game/">game</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/mahjong/">mahjong</category>
      <pubDate>Sat, 08 Apr 2023 02:11:18 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<p>I bought Fedora Remix for WSL. I feel the urge to support. Dev tool companies need money to run, but people are much less fancied by the thought of paying them even if the asking price is as few as ten dollars.</p><p>For the first time this week — ok not the first time I’m sorry — I did Duolingo in the morning. Recently it has introduced a new mechanism: if you use it before 12pm, you can get an experience booster after 6pm; and if you use the app after 9pm you will be awarded another one the following morning. It is super powerful as it doubles the experience for 15 minutes, so people are encouraged to do it once in the morning and once at night. It is such a neat way to motivate people to form good habits.</p><p>I asked ChatGPT for some wearing advice, and I found out my need for leggings or tights — they seem so helpful for a ten degrees Celsius day like today, but only women are known to wear them. This fact bothers me so much.</p><p>I listened to the Framework staff’s advice and took away a memory stick from the laptop. The result: it just worked. No Bluetooth lag or disconnection, no forceful shutdown — I am just over the moon.</p><p>On my way to the school, I checked passersby’s bottoms for reference. Most women wear leggings or jeans. Men wear jeans and trousers — I can’t see through them, but they should be thermal underwear. And there are people wearing shorts! How brave! If they are brave enough to wear shorts on a cool day like today, wearing leggings should be a piece of cake.When I charged the laptop, the Bluetooth mouse was unwilling to talk to it again. It is too early for joy. Speaking of joy, I have a gathering to attend tonight. Have some drinks and play some Mahjong. I’m really looking forward to it.</p><p>Who would have thought the problem a student ran into took an extra hour?</p><p>Anyways, I arrived at my friend’s apartment at 7pm. We played a lot of pizza and ate a lot of Mahjong. The pizzas are two macaroni — I mean pepperoni — and one vegetable. They were tasty. And I drank a can of Coors Light. I played until 12:48am, biked my way home, and am deadly sleepy now. If I wrote something wrong, please forgive me.</p><p>We played Yonma and in the last, Sanma. In the final game I played, I won a hand of toitoi hatsu dora 5 which was worth 24000 points. But the player dealt in 24000 managed to pull a comeback to second place by winning a 12000 hand from the other player. “Rrrrrrrigged!” He happily said it when opening his hand. A large part of Mahjong is based on luck, so they often say it is “rigged”, parodying Trump’s claim of a rigged election.</p><p>Speaking of Trump, now he turned himself to the court. Although I do not hold a good impression of him, I do hope that he gets what he legally deserves. “We are embarrassing ourselves,” Trump said in a speech after the hearing. But he himself is the man who made the spectacles first.</p>]]>
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      <title>博客Plan B （复原）</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/blog-plan-b-recovered/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>这篇博客是在Decap CMS上写的。</p>
<p>不知为何，Decap的汉字是从右往左输入的。而且退格会删除一整行。</p>
<div class="figure " style="width:;"><a class="fancybox" href="/assets/i]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/blog/">blog</category>
      <pubDate>Wed, 05 Apr 2023 00:12:33 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<p>这篇博客是在Decap CMS上写的。</p><p>不知为何，Decap的汉字是从右往左输入的。而且退格会删除一整行。</p><div class="figure " style="width:;"><a class="fancybox" href="/assets/image/screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png" title="各平台汉语支持，写汉语的时候不支持的话，发布出来也一定不支持吧" data-caption="各平台汉语支持，写汉语的时候不支持的话，发布出来也一定不支持吧" data-fancybox="default"><img class="fig-img" src="/assets/image/screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png" alt="各平台汉语支持，写汉语的时候不支持的话，发布出来也一定不支持吧"></a><span class="caption">各平台汉语支持，写汉语的时候不支持的话，发布出来也一定不支持吧</span></div><p>综上，Plan B大告失败！</p><hr><p>图里从里到外是：note（没截全），substack， hatenablog，medium。</p><p>另外：我还试了Ghost，也没有汉字字体。也是只能看着几个宋体字在黑体字间鹤立鸡群。但是Ghost还有办法挽回。当然，反面来说，如果不写中文的话，Note，medium都是非常方便的平台。而Hatenablog支持markdown，也是非常贴心。而且这些（除了Ghost）都不要钱。</p><p>DatoCMS有一个集中模式，还可以。如果能支持图片拖进去/粘贴就更好了。</p>]]>
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      <title>博客Plan B</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/%E5%8D%9A%E5%AE%A2plan-b/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>Decap在是博客这篇</p>
<p><img src="/assets/image/screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png" alt="" title="各平台汉语支持，，写汉语的时候不支持的话，，发布出来也一定不支持吧"></p>
<p>Pla]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <pubDate>Wed, 05 Apr 2023 00:12:33 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>Decap在是博客这篇</p><p><img src="/assets/image/screenshot-2023-04-04-232733.png" alt="" title="各平台汉语支持，，写汉语的时候不支持的话，，发布出来也一定不支持吧"></p><p>Plan，综上﻿ B</p>]]>
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      <title>最后的博客</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/last-blog/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>在写这篇文章之前，我折腾了一下午的npm。改了依赖，扔了失修已久的<code>multilingual feed</code>，为了解决一个错误听ChatGPT的话改了tranquilpeak主题一通，最后告诉我只要把<code>strip-indent</code>的版本]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/blog/">blog</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/hexo/">hexo</category>
      <pubDate>Sun, 02 Apr 2023 20:18:11 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<p>在写这篇文章之前，我折腾了一下午的npm。改了依赖，扔了失修已久的<code>multilingual feed</code>，为了解决一个错误听ChatGPT的话改了tranquilpeak主题一通，最后告诉我只要把<code>strip-indent</code>的版本改回3.0.0就行了。现在这个时间点再运行<code>npm audit</code>，应该是0漏洞了。</p><p>这个博客从设立起到现在也快6个年头了。所以我想回忆一下这些年是怎么一路折腾来的。然后再谈谈这个博客的未来。</p><h2 id="心路旅程">心路旅程</h2><h3 id="域名">域名</h3><p>域名的问题，当时noir.moe和noire.moe都不知被谁注册了，所以一开始是noirina.moe，反正Noirina也是Noire。后来追求短，就变成了现在的nir.moe。现在noir.moe没有人注册，欢迎去买，noire.moe不可用，但是也不知道注册的人拿来在干啥——不用不如捐给我。</p><p>除了这个之外，<a href="http://xn--4gqsgvnk6gey3a8kfg8kdmct10k1ea910e.me">我还注册过一段时间什么.me</a>，大概是用的本名，解析到Blogger去。反正那个Blogger也没写什么东西，就没续费了。</p><p>我忘了，很久很久以前，其实是nomamama.top和nomamama.xyz。Nomamama是我名字的一个anagram（之后才发现不仅把w改成了m，还把一个u改成了a）结合Segagaga得来的。现在用的Noirgif是另一个anagram，这个是先弄成日语罗马字然后再变来的。跑题了。在西部数码注册的域名，虽然很便宜（记得年费是个位数）但是后来要求备案，不备案就不给解析，于是这个域名就送他们了。</p><h3 id="服务器">服务器</h3><p>一开始是在12美元一年的Ethernet Servers，搞个Nginx挂着（首要用途还是开VPN），然后是HostMyBytes。</p><p>这个博客的图片基本是传在Cloudinary上的。我需要先上传到那边，拿到URL再贴到这边。这大概是用VPS时候留下来的了。现在想想，其实图片也可以直接推到GitHub上。</p><p>用VPS的时候还想着用Cloudflare怎么加速——结果发现一用VPN就不好使了。但是现在就没有必要了，name server还是用的Cloudflare，也是当时留下来的。</p><p>在2018年底的时候，我同时也部署到VPS和Github Pages上了（见<a href="/posts/github-pages">如何被 GitHub Pages 蹬鼻子上脸</a>。其实单用Github Pages也可以——访问<a href="noirgif.github.io">noirgif.github.io</a>就是走的pages，但是我闲得慌，为了一点现在已经没用的功能，而搞了Netlify。</p><p>HostMyBytes在19年4月被Alpharacks收购，我在那个时候改用CircleCI跑Hexo，然后CircleCI部署到专用的分支。没用Travis CI的原因，印象里是因为它的镜像太旧了还是机子太破了，还是两者皆有？当时也没人教我，只好自己试着搞来搞去，搞成现在这个模样。</p><p>6月份那个VPS连不上，随后Alpharacks倒闭的消息传来，干脆就不要自己搭的Nginx，只推到Github上了事。从此这个博客只有域名是要钱的了，我觉得这是这个博客的顶峰。</p><p>半年后有了Github Actions。求你下次早点来。</p><h2 id="Hexo">Hexo</h2><p>在用Hexo之前我实在想不起来用的什么。大概是没有吧。用Hexo的起点大概是周围的人很多当时在用Hexo。印象很深的三个：</p><ol><li><a href="https://xuanwo.io">老涡的博客</a>：后来改用了Hugo。</li><li><a href="https://blog.skk.moe/">苏卡卡的博客</a>：不仅还在用，还自己折腾了很多，学不来。</li><li>没有第三个了。<a href="https://blog.yoitsu.moe">老肯</a>和<a href="https://farseerfc.me/">老fc</a>用的都是Pelican。</li></ol><p>喜欢的地方：主题很花哨。当时想着搞很多花哨东西，所以用了这个主题。现在没这个想法了。</p><p>有好有坏的地方：写作体验。用自己想用的编辑器，写Markdown固然简单，但是我有一个一直梦寐以求的功能：把图片拖进来，就能帮你上传到CDN，然后在博客里给你一个链接。我在Piazza用这个的时候就想着博客能不能有一个。Notion也会把文件上传到S3，不过Notion的数据可能都在S3。Hexo有一个Cloudinary插件，但是做的是你写一个tag，帮你插入Cloudinary上的图片，这种画蛇添足的事情。</p><p>头疼的地方：NodeJS加持的Hexo有很多插件，容易发生有的包没人维护了，这个没人维护的包的依赖有漏洞这种深奥的事情。按照这个部署的流程来说我是不需要管他们的？不是很清楚。但是想本地看一看效果的时候就很麻烦。今天我为此把multilingual feed删掉了。从此这个博客更新不分语言了：明天是英语，后天是日语。本博客虽然用各种语言写的，但是对多语言的支持闻者落泪。</p><p>我也不会折腾主题。把Hymmnos字体加进来（记得提醒我玩魔塔大陆3），被Katex折腾折腾，大概就是我力所能及的范围了。曾经有的、现在已经不工作了的飘雪的代码，其实是从Winter Plus的网站那里<s>偷</s>借过来的。请不要告诉North Plus我借了代码，也不要告诉上面的人我上过Soul Plus。</p><h2 id="总结">总结</h2><p>这大概会是我最后一次折腾这个博客了。下次再告诉我有漏洞，我会换到Hatenablog。届时大概会搞一个像R18网站一样的跳转选项，或者在主页里加一个banner。（最后一次折腾？）</p><p>最近玩蔚蓝档案，给我很深的感触，就是我经常被活动和人物迷惑了双眼，本来我最优先的momotalk却很少打开。</p><p>折腾博客，虽然给我带来很多收获，但是我感觉我渐渐离开了本博客随便写写东西的初衷。而这个初衷是我想继续贯彻的。所以我想以此为戒，也是纪念。</p><blockquote><p>Plus je écris les blogs, mieux j’aime les papier.</p><p>我写的博客越多，我就越喜欢纸。</p></blockquote><h2 id="附记：一点题外话">附记：一点题外话</h2><p>虽然游戏堆积成山（蔚蓝档案只是其中一个原因），但是最近有在打天使骚骚的 Demo。因为游戏堆积成山，所以还没有决定要买。</p><div class="figure " style="width:;"><a class="fancybox" href="/assets/image/tenshisouzou-3-30-2023-8-25-40.png" title="说这句台词的时候天使的表情就像万花筒一样" data-caption="说这句台词的时候天使的表情就像万花筒一样" data-fancybox="default"><img class="fig-img" src="/assets/image/tenshisouzou-3-30-2023-8-25-40.png" alt="说这句台词的时候天使的表情就像万花筒一样"></a><span class="caption">说这句台词的时候天使的表情就像万花筒一样</span></div><p>这篇博客开始写是晚上8点，现在已经是第二天了。昨天的日记也没写，Duolingo也没做，洗洗睡了。</p>]]>
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      <title>Proposal of a New Type of Elevator that Uses Blockchain to Achieve High Availability</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/blockchain-elevator/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<h2 id="Introduction">Introduction</h2>
<p>As you may already know, the elevator in the computer sciences department has been broken since F]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/joke/">joke</category>
      <pubDate>Sat, 01 Apr 2023 10:09:05 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<h2 id="Introduction">Introduction</h2><p>As you may already know, the elevator in the computer sciences department has been broken since Friday and will remain unfixed throughout the weekend. Although we have a backup elevator, it gets overloaded even on a Saturday morning. When I went to grab a cup of coffee, someone else had already ridden it, so I had to take the stairs.</p><p>We strive to create systems with high availability. A loss of three days (averaging 0.9% throughout the year) is hardly acceptable. This brings us to today’s main theme:</p><p>We present a proposal for a new type of elevator that utilizes blockchain technology to achieve high availability.</p><p>The idea behind this proposal is to create an elevator system that never goes down. By using a decentralized blockchain network, the elevator system could potentially achieve 100% uptime, with no single point of failure.</p><h2 id="Design">Design</h2><p>The elevator’s control system would be connected to the blockchain network. Every time a passenger boards or exits the elevator, a new block would be added to the chain. The blocks would contain information about the elevator’s current position, direction, and speed. You can think of it as a transaction: validators (a new name for blockchain miners in this context) will include it in the chain. Once six blocks are validated on top of it, we will consider it confirmed, and the elevator will move toward the destination. The confirmation of the transaction on the Ethereum Mainnet takes approximately 84 seconds. However, faster confirmations can be achieved by using private chains.</p><p>Thanks to the decentralized nature of the system, the elevator will continue to function as long as most validators are online. Even if a hacker tries to tamper with the system, the blockchain’s consensus mechanism will ensure that the elevator’s history remains accurate and unalterable. If you take a two-hour coffee break on the sixth floor, everyone in the department will know about it.</p><p>In addition, the immutability of the blockchain guarantees that there will be no disputes over the operation of elevators, which can occur with traditional elevator systems. For instance, people often disagree on how long the doors should remain closed if no button is pressed, and it is often unclear whether the “close door” button accelerates the closing. With blockchains, these rules are enforced by the system, and there is no room for interpretation.</p><h2 id="Conclusion">Conclusion</h2><p>Elevators powered by blockchain technology have a lot of potential. We highly anticipate that they will replace the current broken elevator in the CS building.</p><p>Happy April Fool’s Day!</p>]]>
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      <title>写在2023年的开始</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/new-year-2023/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>2022年的最后没做什么特别的事。室友从一周的夏威夷旅行回来，晚餐点了Popeyes的外卖，顺带点了荞麦面。送到一看面黄黄的弯弯的，不像是荞麦面，倒像是方便面，不是很开心。</p>]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/sound-voltex/">sound voltex</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/bocchi-the-rock/">bocchi the rock</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/pistol-whip/">pistol whip</category>
      <pubDate>Sun, 01 Jan 2023 12:19:36 GMT</pubDate>
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        <![CDATA[<p>2022年的最后没做什么特别的事。室友从一周的夏威夷旅行回来，晚餐点了Popeyes的外卖，顺带点了荞麦面。送到一看面黄黄的弯弯的，不像是荞麦面，倒像是方便面，不是很开心。</p><span id="more"></span><p>饭后干了些有的没的，玩了会冬促的时候买的Pistol Whip —— 本来这种时间是给SDVX的，但是最近抽nemesis crew暴死，再加上现在月租不是固定1日开始，可以等blaster gate的新歌出了再加入，所以就暂时退订了。老实说现在没有PC限定解锁的歌，不加入也没啥损失了。退订是从日本时间的1日起生效，所以我2022年最后一次玩SDVX是在30号。说多了。Pistol Whip感觉上因为要经常躲，所以比Beat Saber更锻炼全身，而且对手腕也很友好。不过我打的时候还是手忙脚乱的，只能打打简单关卡。</p><img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fki3xWTWIAId_oJ?format=jpg&name=4096x4096" class="center clear fig-50" title="暴死记录，最多抽35次，结果抽了34次也没出"><p>打了一会儿之后，室友开始睡觉，而我就在这里打这篇文章了。手机放着 Kessoku Band，一遍播完之后从头开始，零点的时候在放专辑的第一首《青春Complex》。</p><p>吃荞麦面的理由，据说是荞麦面易断（我订的方便面倒是没这回事），寓意切断和旧的一年的联系。不过2022年我倒是还有几篇博客想写的没能写成。一篇是去芝加哥的游记，另一篇是12月某日的梦日记。希望近日能写完吧。战神打完了，孤独摇滚也看完了，雀魂也搁置了，最近除了学业，也没有什么急着想干的事情了，所以希望能沉下心来，读一点堆积成山的书，消化一些落了灰的游戏，缀连一些文字。</p><p>“停止使用互联网！”大概是我最想对我说的话了吧。</p><p>最近米吃完了，去杂货店买了一袋25磅的泰国香米。我这个人记性不好，总是忘了怎么打开米袋子。于是上网搜，第一个Youtube视频的作者是位年轻的女性，遗憾的是，她自己也不知道怎么解开的，就说尝试手解，不行就用剪刀。第二个视频是一个男的，他说：“大多人都会尝试手解开绳结，但是他们犯了一个错误：总是同时解两条线。正确的方法是一次只解一条线，就能拉开了。”</p><p>就让这篇博客作为开端吧。</p>]]>
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      <title>最近电影四连</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/2210-recent/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>因为Notion的字体看起来很不爽（黑体宋体夹杂），就在word上写了。在word上用的是霞鹜文楷。想不起来名字的时候就会想起来原神的可莉，这个字体的原型是名叫可莉的字体。
二来word也有所谓的focus mode，会隐去一切无用UI。windows更新以来也有了focu]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/movies/">movies</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/cinema-paradiso/">cinema paradiso</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/pompo-the-cinephile/">pompo the cinephile</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/singin-in-the-rain/">singin in the rain</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/bullet-train/">bullet train</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/kimi-no-namida-ni-naritai/">kimi no namida ni naritai</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/your-forma/">your forma</category>
      <pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2022 18:10:35 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>因为Notion的字体看起来很不爽（黑体宋体夹杂），就在word上写了。在word上用的是霞鹜文楷。想不起来名字的时候就会想起来原神的可莉，这个字体的原型是名叫可莉的字体。二来word也有所谓的focus mode，会隐去一切无用UI。windows更新以来也有了focus session。可以做到一种二重buff。在加上平时会开的focus assist，就可以聚焦到烧焦了！火，生命之火。燃烧，生命的意义。果然只有燃烧的时候，蜡烛才在证明自己的存在。SM？不SM。</p><p>闲话少叙。果然，最想分享的还是，最近无意之间连续看了三部meta电影。Meta电影只不过是我心里的说法，如果要说人话，那就是三部关于电影的电影。</p><p>第一部看的是《Nuovo Cinema Paradiso》（天堂电影院）。看的原因的话，果然还是《我想成为你的眼泪》（君の涙になりたい）这部小说。书中提到的是电影最后的片段，再者好像是名作，于是就看了。我也是按照书里的推荐，没有看3小时的版本（导剪版，反而越剪越长，真是疑惑），看的127分钟的原版。……是127分钟吧。讲的是一个人随电影成长的故事，然而电影没有伴随着人成长，而是默无声息地消失了。至于问题的场景——或者说问题的场景的剪辑——如果那些电影我都有看过就好了，我是这么想的。如果没有看过，就会像我现在这样，试图从干燥的海绵上硬挤出一两滴水。如果看过的话，就会像主人公那样，既失笑又怀念，笑着笑着不禁眼泪流下来吧。所以可能还是生错时代了。</p><p>第二部是《映画大好きポンポさん》（最爱电影的庞波小姐，或者是别的称呼）。讲的是围绕新电影制作，新人导演Gene Fini，新人女演员Natalie Woodward等人如何活跃的故事。一个特点，就是将电影制作，从一开始的剧本、选人，到最后的剪辑都有涉及。所以论meta程度，这部应该是最深的了。虽然Gene想看《天堂电影院》，但是Pompo小姐显然不是很有耐心看完，甚至暴言道，超过90分钟的电影都没意思。而这也是这部电影有意思的一个地方。因为涉及剧透，我就不想提及了，但是这种meta发言也是让我眼前一亮的地方。最近在看的《ユア・フォルマ》（Your Forma，中文不知道）（我讨厌word的地方：日语输入法切换 Alt+`，会调出听写）里，插图里有很多QR码，按文中的说法，是电子毒品的信息，不能直视，因为会脑内自动扫描。如果真的用手机扫了，其中一个QR码还会说“明明告诉你不要看了”。</p><p>第三部，其实不是第三部。是《Bullet Train》（子弹列车），大概1小时40分钟。听同学说的于是打算看，正好发现附近的AMC有上映，于是就去看了。说是附近，骑车也要40分钟。回想起来，还是不清楚这是好事还是坏事。去程是坐公交去的，这里的公交，前面有自行车架，可以放两辆车。因为去的时候是中午（中午的电影能打7折，加起来只要10刀），于是开映前在附近的Hyvee吃了顿饭。不知为什么少算了4刀左右，告诉了员工，员工也不在意。到场之后发现虽然场子很小，但是根本没有人来，只是之后来了两三人，四舍五入就是包场。内容，就是一般的好莱坞动作片，没有字幕所以有时候会听不懂。虽然之后也有枪林弹雨，但是子弹列车字面上指的是新干线。讲的是一群特工在新干线上从东京打到京都，最后死了几名特工，整列车都被整脱轨了。不仅仅是三方一两损的程度了。大家都亏大了。回来的路上才发现，自行车的前灯没了，只好重新买了一个。所以，到底是值不值呢。一说，是经验千金难买，但是问我想不想再经验一次，我大概也很难给出个肯定答案了。</p><p>之前打完金恋的时候也是这样。跑到湖边，看了夕阳。相较于游戏里的满目金色，现实里湖面只有一缕一缕的闪烁。然而就凭波光粼粼一词，恐是难以形容其刺眼。就算说是秋天的太阳照亮的湖面，哪怕是带上墨镜，也不愿意去直视吧，像我这种阳光下只会稍微变暗程度的眼镜，更是难抵其耀眼的光芒。触目难忘，讲的就是闭上眼睛，也能看到光斑。回想起来，如果少看手机的话应该更好了。我是为了丰富自己的内心，才去选择跟自己对话，跟大自然对话，跟自己心中的大自然对话的。写这篇博客，也是为了跟自己对话。正因为如此，才应该摒弃外界的骚扰，而直视自己的想法。不然，夕阳就只是夕阳而已了。之前去黄石国家公园，也感觉到自己想法的浅显，到了一个地方，只能拍拍照，感受一下大自然的鬼斧神工，就没有了。半点想法也挤不出来。明明自然在我面前展现自己的千姿百态，有美的一面，比如羚羊谷里暴洪冲刷出的各种图案，比如路上绵延的草原，有丑的一面，比如散发刺鼻气味的间歇泉。但是大自然不告诉你含义。含义需要自己汲取。黄石之旅有机会再详说。</p><p>说了这么多之后，第四部。是《Singin’ in the Rain》（雨中曲）。这是我分享了看完《子弹列车》之后，在频道里看到别的人最近看的作品，心血来潮在亚马逊上租了，当晚（说是当晚，其实是昨晚）麻将打了一半走人回家看的。大概也是1小时40分钟。嬉笑舞蹈之间讲述了电影业从无声到有声的迅速变迁。《La La Land》也是很久以前看的了，所以这种音乐剧特有的，二话不说跳起舞来的风格，让我首先想起的是印度的电影。可没想到上世纪的好莱坞就有了。我看到“call me a cab”“hey cab”这样的冷笑话也会禁不住笑起来，所以整篇看完非常愉快。挺喜欢男二的Cosmo，尤其是他的《Make ‘Em Laugh》。名作，也不一定就是深沉的，大概吧。</p><p>电影大概就是这些，游戏或者书的话，就下次再说吧。</p>]]>
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    <item>
      <title>金恋，和一些最近的作品</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/kinkoi/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<h2 id="写在前面">写在前面</h2>
<p>不用说也知道，本篇会有很多剧透。以前我大概会放一个大大的警示框在这里，列举一下包含哪些作品的剧透。但是我忘了怎么写的了。不过话说回来，提前告诉读者有什么剧透，难道不也是一种剧透吗？</p>
<p>那么，本篇大概包含金恋（金色ラブリッチェ）的剧透。</p>]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/game/">game</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/reading/">reading</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/kinkoi/">kinkoi</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/judgment/">judgment</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/52-hertz-no-kujira-tachi/">52 hertz no kujira tachi</category>
      <pubDate>Mon, 06 Jun 2022 16:13:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<h2 id="写在前面">写在前面</h2><p>不用说也知道，本篇会有很多剧透。以前我大概会放一个大大的警示框在这里，列举一下包含哪些作品的剧透。但是我忘了怎么写的了。不过话说回来，提前告诉读者有什么剧透，难道不也是一种剧透吗？</p><p>那么，本篇大概包含金恋（金色ラブリッチェ）的剧透。</p><span id="more"></span><h2 id="金色时光">金色时光</h2><p>如果有人问，说到金恋，你脑海里浮现的是什么画面？</p><p>我的答案一定是那反复出现的，波光粼粼的湖面。</p><p>游戏里，关于湖的传说虽然一带而过了，但是死，确确实实是永恒的话题。过于永恒而不知该从何说起。就算说，可能也会是一些老生常谈，不过我还是想努力讲一些有意思的事情。那么就看我下面的发挥了。对一个人来说，死意味着物质的消失和思想的消逝，不过对他人来说，这个人的又意味着什么呢？我问这个问题，是因为想到，我好久没有联系小学的同学了。如果说，一个人的死意味着没法再见到他们，那么对我来说——我明白这个说法不好——现在的联系不上的状态和死了，没有什么区别。</p><p>我们的关系在渐渐死去，变成说得上一点点话的陌生人。</p><p>如果一个陌生人死了，我的感想，当然排除没有感想的情况，应该不是针对死者的，而是一些泛泛的、漠不关心的感想：人如何脆弱、人生如何缥缈，如此这般。</p><p>高中的时候，隔壁班就有一个同学事故身亡。但是我不认识他。有同学说，他挺开朗的，不可能是自杀；有同学说，可惜了。我没有说什么。那天晚上，教学楼下摆了一圈蜡烛，他的一些朋友在那里默哀，我也去了。看着摇曳的烛光，我想着我要好好活着。结束后，他的妈妈几乎说不出话来，但是还是安静地说了谢谢你们来。离开的时候看着他的父母，我隐隐担心他们的婚姻还能否继续下去。不过也就仅此而已了。</p><p>对更亲近的人，抱有的感情应该会有所不同。我的记性很差，很久以前的事情大都记不太清楚了。要提最近的事情大概就是外婆了。每次去姨妈家，外婆是最关心我的那个。新年的时候，甚至还会塞给我压岁钱。临走的时候，总是希望我很快再回来一趟。然而这几年，我因为种种原因未能回家。远程电话的时候，看着她期待的眼神，我口头上说会早点回来，但也不敢保证什么时候。就在几个月前，家父打来电话说，外婆过世了。听到消息的时候，我不知所措。然后我想起来了：我终究没能回去见她一面。</p><p>外婆肯定不会怪我，她从来也没有说过我一句坏话。家父也没有责怪我。责怪我的从来都是我自己。可是，生者如何快活如何悲伤，同逝者又有何关呢？活的人永远没法替死人着想。所以我想，这喜怒哀乐大抵都是要归结到自己身上来的。</p><p>话说回来，只有归结到自身上来，才能成为实实在在的感觉。他人的小脚趾撞到桌角，与我又有何干？肯定是大笑一场。在纪念一些人的时候，有时会说没有X就没有Y，这也是把逝者的所作所为跟我们的现在联系起来。不然，光荣事迹再光荣，换来的大概也就是个无声的“哦”吧。</p><p>这里就用葬礼之后的问答收尾吧。可以算是在身边人过世后心理活动的一个例子吧。</p><p>“我有在闪闪发光吗，她没有对我失望吧？”</p><p>“我真的成为世界上最帅的男友了吗？”</p><h2 id="其他一些最近玩过看过的作品">其他一些最近玩过看过的作品</h2><p>Judgment，这个就死很多人了。大家都是硬派，没什么话说。</p><p>52赫兹的鲸（52ヘルツのクジラたち）。标题的来源是源自一头特别的鲸。通常鲸声音的频率在10-40Hz，而这头鲸的声音却超出了这一范围。因为据称别的鲸听不到这个频段的声音，人们称它为“最孤独的鲸”。这头鲸数年来没有被找到，只有它的声音飘荡在海洋里。全本书里我觉得美晴是里面最讨喜的人物了，最后她回去的时候我眼泪掉下来。我在想，天鹅之歌是不是也能用来形容这些没有被听到的SOS呢？查了下词典，再仔细想想，还是没那么像。</p><p>三体。看完之后有点激动，第三卷那个时间跨度大的不得了，有些追不上。</p><p>Ratchet &amp; Clank, the game和rift apart。这个两纯粹是老少皆宜的有趣游戏。</p><p>LUNARiA。不错的作品，我还在等松山写流星群的下一卷。</p><p>白金数据。开头居然有像是harmony的梗（人人身上装着IC芯片，由政府监督一举一动），有点快乐。</p><p>大概就这么多。如果要问我是什么刻骨铭心的内容的话，我说不上来。好酒也是要反复品才能出味的，像我这样，囫囵吞枣，不加思考地吸收，可能最后就忘得一干二净了。</p>]]>
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    <item>
      <title>The Rise and Demise of Twitter 2</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/twitter2/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>This is written to memorize the discord channel Twitter 2.</p>
<h2 id="Some-Random-Ranting">Some Random Ranting</h2>
<p>Not for everyone,]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/social-media/">social media</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/social-network/">social network</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/twitter2/">twitter2</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/nyarla/">nyarla</category>
      <pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2022 14:46:33 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>This is written to memorize the discord channel Twitter 2.</p><h2 id="Some-Random-Ranting">Some Random Ranting</h2><p>Not for everyone, but people recently are getting increasingly prone to anger, and cancel culture and exclusionism are prevailing. The world is going into pieces.</p><p>Yet the Internet itself is just a system which was invented decades ago for connecting computers. It’s always the human that is the problem. Originally to obtain social interaction, a person must blend into a group that they share little similarity with. This is getting less and less true with the introduction of social media, where people can find those who share great interests with them, share the same political stance with them, and share the same worldview with them. The same applies to receiving information, people now can easily find news that they love to see, views that they are supporting, or videos that they enjoy watching. “Why bother to watch things that I dislike? Why bother to talk to people that I dislike?” And they push themselves into a comfort zone, surrounded by only things they like. I’m doing it, for sure, and many people are doing it.</p><p>Also, tech companies behind social media are pushing this further in the name of “personalization”, because they know that this is the best way to make people stick with them, hence the best way to make money. As a result of this push from both sides, a person is more likely to only get to know a group of people like them, watch news that only say things they want to hear. Everyone lives in their own tiny world now.</p><p>Ridiculous it is, that the Internet was designed to connect people, but now it is segregating people.</p><p>Let me now imagine an extreme scenario, where Ant runs into Bat on the Internet. The problem is that Ant likes a film called Eekum, but Bat doesn’t, and thinks another film called Bokum is better. Tech companies are good at separating people due to their tastes, but they are not perfect, so understandable. It’s not like Ant doesn’t try to get along, Ant tries, to tell Bat how good Eekum is, and Bat does the same: tell Ant why Bokum is better. After some futile attempts, Ant can’t make Bat agree what Ant thinks. Because Ant hasn’t have a friend that loves Bokum, Ant thinks “maybe I just cannot get along with this type of people”, and by “this type of people” Ant means people who like Bokum. So, Ant just gives up. Later, Ant runs into Cat who also like Bokum as well, instead of talking with Cat, Ant thinks — “I can’t get along with someone like Bat”, so Ant walks away and never talked.</p><p>And sometimes I feel like I’m Ant, constantly under the influence of bias. Bias is the assumption of something we don’t know. We may assume the best or the worst of someone before even getting to know them. I understand that bias naturally happens, but oftentimes still falls into its hands, and make judgment based on bias. Why bother to learn more about someone I may hate, if I have plenty of people that I know I’m more probably to love? In such a way, people divide themselves into smaller and smaller groups. The segregation, in return, may fuel the bias, and mob mentality, to make people offensive against disagreements, in desperate attempt to defend their belief.</p><h2 id="The-Inception-of-Internet-2">The Inception of Internet 2</h2><p>Above is just my personal view, and Nyarla also feels tired of wars in the Internet. He comes up with the idea of Internet 2 in the book with the same title in 2019. In <em>Internet 2</em>, Nyarla imagines the outrage in Internet being overwhelmed by kindness, sympathy, and harmony.</p><blockquote><p>優しさがインターネットを支配する時代となる。It will become the era when kindness dominates the Internet.</p><footer><strong>Nyarla</strong><cite>Internet 2</cite></footer></blockquote><p>I use the word “harmony” because the whole idea of Internet 2 reminds me of the book <em>Harmony</em> by Project Itoh. <em>Harmony</em> portraits a dystopian world where everyone’s body is deemed the possession of humanity, and people’s minds are monitored to prevent any damage done to anyone including themselves. There is no dictator, but the collective mind is dictating everything.</p><p>Internet 2 might be something similar: everyone is forced by everyone to be kind, although “that kindness may not correspond to kindness in real life”. But in return, in Internet 2 there is no dissonance. People are happy.</p><p>But when it comes to Twitter2, things are a bit more complicated.</p><h2 id="Twilight-of-Twitter-2">Twilight of Twitter 2</h2><p>In Jan. 2021 Nyarla <a href="https://note.com/nyalra2/n/nbb2d6fbf1d34">set up the Twitter2 discord server</a>, dubbed “a truly happy SNS where everybody does not talk about politics or society, but watch anime and play games all day”.</p><p>In the short manga that introduces Twitter2, people are depicted as brains in jars, and Nyarla, depicted as a little girl, is taking care of them.</p><p>In the post Nyarla wrote that Twitter2 started from a joke. And he created it partly because someone asked him to do it and he’s interested in running Discord server, partly because “it’s interesting to make such a dystopian-like [Discord] server and have a community of otakus”.</p><p>Therefore, although Twitter2 shared some dystopian (or utopian, YMMV) nature with Internet 2, it was nowhere as extensive as the Internet 2, and was just a discord server of otakus. From a larger perspective, Twitter2 is the reflection of the Internet instead of Internet2, where people are in a smaller circle.</p><p>Nyarla’s note told a little about what’s in Twitter2, so I think I may also write something different.</p><h3 id="Channels">Channels</h3><p>Aside from hobby channels, like anime, game, manga, movie, books, etc., there are also channels that people share pics of animals, landscape, food, and talks about life, religion or private things.</p><p>Religion was one of the recently established channels. It probably spun from a discussion about whether God exists. I didn’t look into the channel very much, but it is interesting to see people talk about belief in a more open and objective way.</p><p>Liminal space is another one of the new channels. Pictures of empty space were posted there. Nyalra sometimes would repost liminal photos from twitter. He still does this sometimes. I also took a photo or two to post there but couldn’t find a good shot here where I live. Some photos there are interesting. Empty hallway, or even an empty room (not so liminal by definition, which confuses me a little), but I enjoy all the pictures there.</p><p>Some channels I visited most:</p><p>General: of course, most talk happens there.</p><p>Monologue (ひとり言): sometimes I’d like to write my thoughts there. There’s another channel called the wall (かべ) where harsher monologues were written. I couldn’t distinguish the difference until I learned about the phrase hitting wall (壁打ち), one of its meanings is to let things out alone.</p><p>Poison radio (毒電波): People were writing random things there. Most of them sounded crazy, which made me a little nervous and anxious. And that made me feel interested. The one I can remember most clearly is “the earth is targeted” (地球は、狙われている from Ultraman), because there was a person (nicknamed erson, with an icon P, if I got it right) posting it almost everyday. There’s a saying that if someone keeps repeating something it will be hard for you to get it out of your head. Here it proves itself again. “Poison radio” came from Leaf’s first visual novel Shizuku (1996). I took the English translation from the song INTERNET OVERDOSE, whose lyrics was by Nyalra.</p><p>Books (本): As I read books (lightnovels) much more than watching anime or comics. Sometimes a message popped up with a photo of newly bought books, or about a book recently read. There, I came to know Kazuki Sakuraba’s other works, and before then I only read GOSICK by the author. One of them being A Lollypop or a Bullet. It’s a story about a girl that grows up, with a girl that doesn’t have the chance to grow up. I also learned about Nobel Laureate Kazuo Ishiguro’s new book, Clara and the Sun, although I hadn’t read it until the server shut down.</p><h2 id="The-Sudden-Sunset">The Sudden Sunset</h2><p>Around the end of 2021, griefers appeared in the discord. Though I started writing it during Nov 2021, it is now May 2022, and I couldn’t remember things clearly, so I’ll try my best.</p><p>First there were spamming discord invites. Come join us to spam other servers, it said.</p><p>And another time, all channels were spammed with defecating GIFs. Because discord plays the GIF by default people are forced to see it. The server is down for a while, and it came back with bot administration to counter spams.</p><p>And finally, the server just disappeared. I didn’t know what happened until a friend told me attackers got it down.</p><p>From <a href="https://note.com/nyalra2/n/nbfb2aa75577b">Nyarla’s post</a>, the attackers used the below method to get the server banned:</p><ol><li>Use anonymous accounts to spam access tokens in the server</li><li>Report it to Discord</li><li>Discord bans the server due to TOS violation</li></ol><p>From a third person’s perspective, I’d say it is an incredibly elegant method, which achieves the most destruction with the least effort.<sup class="footnote-ref"><a href="#fn1" id="fnref1">[1]</a></sup> And Discord’s lack of scrutiny before banning users and servers make this attack possible.</p><p>As a member, I wanted to say something, but surprisingly found myself at a loss for words. And at this time, 3 months after Nyarla set up a new server, and half a year after Twitter2’s disappearance, there’s nothing I can say about it any more. Some time it went just like that: people find themselves attention via the social network, but at the end, they don’t really need it.</p><p>And with that it concludes Twitter2’s short life.</p><h2 id="Footnotes">Footnotes</h2><hr class="footnotes-sep"><section class="footnotes"><ol class="footnotes-list"><li id="fn1" class="footnote-item"><p>I thought this kind of method is more often done in China, where ill-minded people utilize other’s careless words to get them banned, especially if they something remotely bad about the government. <a href="#fnref1" class="footnote-backref">↩︎</a></p></li></ol></section>]]>
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    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Memory Order</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/memory-order/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>大家好，这里是很懂C++的BlancJpg。</p>
<p>Memory order是什么？哎呀怎么这个都不懂。Memory order不是很简单嘛！Memory是记忆，order是顺序。理所当然，memory order是记忆的顺序！当然，我记性不是很好，经常记不清顺序—]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/joke/">joke</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/C/">C++</category>
      <pubDate>Tue, 12 Apr 2022 00:00:37 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>大家好，这里是很懂C++的BlancJpg。</p><p>Memory order是什么？哎呀怎么这个都不懂。Memory order不是很简单嘛！Memory是记忆，order是顺序。理所当然，memory order是记忆的顺序！当然，我记性不是很好，经常记不清顺序——卡特列夫库——是什么的库？</p><p>拿昨天的早饭做例子吧，我吃的是面包夹肉饼——好吃吗？嗯……还行吧——我记得很清楚，我先吃了面包再吃的肉饼的。</p><p>……什么？原子化？对对对，我的牙齿是先碰到面包，再碰到肉饼的分子的。所以从分子层面上来说我是先吃的面包。你呀，明明是分子说什么原子化。难道是要把分子劈开吗？想裂变吗？</p><p>就说是先吃面包了！麦当劳的肉饼比较x……好了好了换个例子！拿前天做例子吧，我是先吃的早餐然后吃的午餐。——我说吃早餐了就是吃了！别多管闲事！所以从正常人的眼里来看，我肯定是先吃的早餐然后吃的午餐，除非有人在超光速运动。啊不对，如果是超光速运动的人，那就不是吃了，大概会看到我先吐出午餐，再吐出早餐。像小红帽故事里的大灰狼一样。所以是小红帽在超光速运动。谁也没看见大灰狼吃奶奶的场景对吧？没看见就是一切皆有可能。</p><p>大灰狼记不记得自己点了什么菜呢？毕竟是order……哈哈！</p><p>讲到哪里了，讲到晚饭了。前天的晚饭吃得比较快活。吃的羊肉串加牛肉面。饿了一天的肚子也填饱了。——所以讲吃早餐了！话真多呢这家伙！走了！</p>]]>
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    <item>
      <title>日本語で適当になにか書こうか</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/ja-diary-20210320/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>…っと勢いで言ったものの、なにか書くこともないので実際無謀だった。</p>
<p>これは、日本語の練習として発案された。私にとって日本語は母語でもないし、英語みたいに学校で勉強したこともない、ほぼ自学です。なので練習する必要がある。じゃないかな。だからこうして言葉を綴るのも]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/diary/">diary</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/ordinary/">ordinary</category>
      <pubDate>Sat, 20 Mar 2021 17:41:22 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>…っと勢いで言ったものの、なにか書くこともないので実際無謀だった。</p><p>これは、日本語の練習として発案された。私にとって日本語は母語でもないし、英語みたいに学校で勉強したこともない、ほぼ自学です。なので練習する必要がある。じゃないかな。だからこうして言葉を綴るのも一つの勉強ではないか。とりあえず、何も考えずに書くだけ。</p><p>真っ先に考えられるのは、どうすればこの文章を長く書ける方法だ。最近さくらもゆ遊んでるので、そこに言い換えることが多いのが気になる。そして、これも一つ文章を長くする形ではないか。しかし、それを読む人はどう思うのだろうか。私自身の感想は、言い換えれば言い換えるほど、会話の流れが連続ではなくなる。加えて、話し手が頻繁に言い換えることは、自信がないではないでしょうか。私英語でしゃべるときもよくあることだから。このワードで正しく伝えているのかって反射的に悩んで、もう一つの言葉を思い浮かべたならそれを即採用する傾向がある。しかし、言い換えてもなんの用もない場合は多数だな、と顧みてはそう思う。</p><p>よく考えれば、これも、小さなパニックではないか。なにか言い間違ってないかってパニックして、そして優先事項を見失ったではないか。だから、これはパニックは最悪につながるの、もう一つの証拠です。</p><p>でも、よくないって思っても、試してみたい心は私にはある。だから、これから、私もすこし言い換えて、言葉を遊びましょうか。</p><p>日記においては、近況報告もひとつの慣用のトピックだ。日常生活になにかを感じて、霊感、あるいは、ひらめくことも多いではないか。とはいえ、あんまりプライベートなことは報告しないつもりでいる。秘め事はやはり、自分に全く関心のない人や、自分に気遣いできる人に限って言う。</p><p>どこか出かけたら報告の材料にもなるが、残念ながら今のアメリカではそれは難しい。今はひたすら家（アパート）にいって、コロナ暴露の数字を眺めるだけ。最近が０になってる、数週前７や８もあったので、感染者みんな病院に移住したか、治ったかなんでしょう。ちなみに、二週前食料買いに出たら、そと盛大なパーティーも上げていたんだ、百人はあると思う。学生みんなマスクしてない、食い物飲み物していて、ごく普通のパーティー。彼らにとって、唯一異常なものは、このご時世だろう。終わっただと思うから、終わっていない、そういうこと。</p><p>もう一つは、韓国語を勉強してることかな。日本語で韓国語のこと言ってるのは確かにおかしいだが、言語はいろんなどこ似ている。例えば、数字の言い方も二つある、一つは中国語の発音から来た(il, i, sam, sa, o)、もう一つは自ら発明した言い方で、主に数える時に使う(hana, dul, set, net, daseot)。もう一つは曜日を使ってること、例えば、日曜日は il-yoil（ilは日で、yoは曜）。文法も少し似ているような気がしますが、あまり文法について勉強してないので割愛。</p><p>一か月前くらいで、ピアノを買ってました、ヤマハのP71です。グリーンハンド、初心者なので、それに適するではないかな。主に、音ゲーやる時間があるなら、一つ楽器でも勉強した方がいいではないかと思った。以前やってないのがちょっと悔やまれるが、それはそれでもっと自由の幼年を過ごせたので、どっちがいいか簡単に言えない。興味というのは、いつでも、当時のやりたいことを重んじることだと思う。興味が変わればそれに従い、現在を楽しめること。 Carpe diem といって、同じ名前のゲームが steam にあります。遊んではいないので、おすすめできないが。</p><p>思いついたことはこれくらい、すみません、言い換えることあんまり出来ていなくて、これから本番で、最後のチャンスです。しかし、雑談なので、どうやって括ろうかを悩む。最近、村上の UT（一応ユニクロのシャーツと説明しよう）出てるんですけど、すぐに完売してる。カフカのシャーツとか。20日現在 1q84 以外ほとんどなくなって、 Ebay で二倍の価額で転がっている。ノルウェーの森のカバー色柄のシャーツも全部売れたのに（英語版は赤と白と黒で、日本語のと違う）、なぜ 1q84 は売れていない。みんなもっと 1q84 を買おう、と世界の中心で叫びたいが、自分一服も買っていない。配送料が高いのでやめた。</p><p>これをブログにアプロードしようとした時、WSL がネットに繋がらない、めんどい。</p>]]>
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    <item>
      <title>二之路</title>
      <link>https://nir.moe/posts/otaku-journey/</link>
      <description>
        <![CDATA[<p>我很早以前就像写一点东西记录一下自己二次元的心路历程了。我的记性算是差人一等的，很多年前的事情也记得七零八落的了。也正是因为如此，我希望能在脑子变得一干二净之前能尽可能多的记录下来，所谓“salvage”大概是如此吧。因为记忆问题，如果有差错也大概死无对证了。</p>
<p]]>
      </description>
      <author>NoirGif</author>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/categories/writing/">writing</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/game/">game</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/anime/">anime</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/lightnovel/">lightnovel</category>
      <category domain="https://nir.moe/tags/manga/">manga</category>
      <pubDate>Tue, 09 Feb 2021 04:22:52 GMT</pubDate>
      <content:encoded>
        <![CDATA[<p>我很早以前就像写一点东西记录一下自己二次元的心路历程了。我的记性算是差人一等的，很多年前的事情也记得七零八落的了。也正是因为如此，我希望能在脑子变得一干二净之前能尽可能多的记录下来，所谓“salvage”大概是如此吧。因为记忆问题，如果有差错也大概死无对证了。</p><p>至于“二之路”的名字，上文也已说明，取（我的）二次元的心路历程之意。我有想过命名为二史，但转念一想，我一个无名小卒，有何自信给自己立史呢。如果我是某一位有名人物，倒是确实可以以列传称呼：二史某某列传。然后为人耻笑罢了。</p><p>不过话说回来，如果这篇半回忆、半打岔的文章，能让读者有那么一点怀念，那也算是值得了。</p><p>为了克服羞耻心理，也增加可搜索性，我会尽可能地至少用全名称呼一次作品或者其他事物而不是全部用简称或者诨名。但是详细介绍这些东西的责任还是交给百科了。物语系列的羽川翼说，我只知道我知道的东西。这次就让我来借用一下这个重言式。（重言式应该是 tautology 的翻译， tautology 除了有真理之意，也有废话的内蕴。这就所谓真理都是废话。道可道，非常道。）</p><p>想起非常道，我就想起那张插画里有饼干的游戏王卡了，名字应该叫<a href="https://www.db.yugioh-card.com/yugiohdb/card_search.action?ope=2&amp;cid=5350">非常食</a>，可能台湾不叫紧急食物，于是就这么印上去了。</p><h2 id="黎明期">黎明期</h2><p>故事大概要从我小学时候说起。我爸给我买了一个黑色的 PSP3000。虽然玩零式的时候我确实有点怀疑这是不是2000了，但是看了一下对比图的的确确是 3000。那时候国内也不知道有没有正版小碟子买，就靠破解来装一些盗版：拿来的时候是显示一堆机器人——那时候我不知道变形金刚和高达有什么区别——的图片，然后最后一张是那个攻壳机动队的的笑脸男。后来换了一套，就变成鸡蛋图了。</p><p>小学到初中一二年级的时候我手上最好玩的东西大概就是这个 PSP 了吧。那时候我玩的最初的几个游戏里，有点印象的大概是歌姬计划 extend 。是 ex 而不是 歌姬计划 2nd 的原因，为我是按时间从后往前看的。就算我看不懂 MISS x TAKE 或者 CHEAP，听不懂初音或者镜音或者谁谁谁讲的什么日语，看着他们垂头丧气，也能知道那不是你打的很好的意思。比如第一首猫耳开关，我就是打了很多遍才终于过关的。不过我并没打完 —— 普通难度全过关，看到制作组名单还是非常非常后来，几年以后的事情了。</p><p>玩了节奏游戏，视奸在房间里的歌姬之后，我似乎还不够满足。还想去看看别的图，比如说色图。那时候百度搜图有时还会有漏网之鱼，所以碰巧撞上一两张越线的是完全有可能的。不知道该说这样的百度搜索是好还是不好，总之我碰到了不是初音的图，是一个大胸二次元妹子洗澡的图，我本能的去搜这位动漫人物是谁，结果告诉我，这是《我的朋友很少》的柏崎星奈。这应该就是我看的第一个我百分百有信心，可以算作二次元的动画了。换做现在我是不会去看友少动画的，不如说动画基本都不怎么看了。</p><p>那时候我也经常逛贴吧，初音后面跟两个不认识的字的吧、和友少吧我是常客。不发言的那种。所以周刊什么的也时不时会看看。这个吧把初音未来吧吞并，匹诺曹P 被称为汪峰P，等等，都是之后才听说的事情了。</p><p>另外一个让我印象深刻的游戏是秋之回忆 6（或者不意译，直接叫 Memories Off 6，简称 MO6）。那时我还非常纯情，打完远藤莉莉丝线之后，就怎么也不想打箱崎智纱线了。Bad end 也不敢打。唯一另外通关的一条线是学姐线，不过那也是很久之后的事了。MO6 除了是我打的第一个 galgame 以外，一个让我印象深刻的地方，就是番外小故事没有翻译，成了我学日语的契机。不过多年以后回来看，才发现全都是乱码，我还是看不懂。</p><hr><p>不知放这里是否合适，小学的我还受一位好朋友影响，玩起了口袋妖怪（现在有正式译名了），绿宝石。那位朋友选的蜥蜴，我选的火鸡。他还给了我很多指导，不然我肯定就因为卡关而不玩了——我属于不看剧情的流派。Grand Theft Auto Vice City 我从来都没做过主线任务。玩无主之地2的时候也是，我英语也不好；接到什么任务也不会切换，就都给做了；只会往白点跑然后哒哒哒；只记得小手指那么大的剧情。而不看剧情经常就让我不知道该往哪里跑，现在的游戏基本都有任务列表了，我也会读点英文了，把任务拎出来给我看这种设计可谓是我这种大脑退化玩家的福音。</p><p>言归正传，不知是不是字库限制，感觉有些名字非常奇怪。而且存档好像不利索，通关了就掉档了。总之那个 ROM 不行。那时候动画也有再看，不过大约看到成都地区就没再看了。虽然严格来说的确是二次元，但毕竟是儿童向的动画，所以跟本文的意趣并不完全相投。这就好比抓住一个日本人问，看海螺小姐和鬼太郎算是宅吗，人家估计也很为难。</p><hr><p>那时候也有在用村规打盗版的游戏王，动画也有看那么一点，总之黑魔导女孩（<a href="https://www.db.yugioh-card.com/yugiohdb/card_search.action?ope=2&amp;cid=4766&amp;request_locale=en">这里</a>，第一张）非常色。休伯特（<a href="https://www.db.yugioh-card.com/yugiohdb/card_search.action?ope=2&amp;cid=7409">这里</a>）也色，直到我认出来那是男人的身体之前。</p><h2 id="全盛期">全盛期</h2><p>以友少为起点，我感觉自己看了很多动画，但实际上一点也想不起来。我登陆了优酷土豆账号，虽然草刺猬的头像暗示了我从小学起就有这个账号了，但是历史记录却是像海浪冲过的沙滩一样干净，一点痕迹也不剩了。</p><p>好事是我有时及其闲得无聊，会在我的 iPod touch 上记录一下今天看了些什么，有的时候会记录一下看了些什么。那时候我还会记到我的一个步步高学习机上。这个学习机除了日常拿来查词，在物理和化学实验软件里试试各种东西以外，大概就用来看 V 家（包含初音的 Vocaloid 家族的简称）的 MV 和看看小说了。这个学习机上也有那个历史的只鳞片甲了。不过那个学习机尘封已久，也不在我手上，所以是无门了。如果挑我还记得的来说：</p><ul><li>保存的 PV 有<ul><li>DECO*27 的 ゆめゆめ —— 我当时觉得这个故事很好很喜欢，以及有可爱的动画。</li><li>n-buna 的 ウミユリ海底譚 —— 很喜欢旋律，以及有奇妙的插画。</li><li>一两首阳炎，但不是很确定，阳炎 Project 之后会讲到。</li></ul></li><li>看过的小说有<ul><li>《我女友与青梅竹马的惨烈修罗场》（简称俺修罗），这个是我印象里最先看的轻小说。原因是被标题吸引，看了动画第一集之后觉得很有意思，然后不想等一周只有一集的动画。所以应该是 2013 年 1 月。</li><li>精灵使的剑舞。</li><li>西尾维新的物语系列。</li></ul></li><li>还有一些看番记录，因为没有日语输入，所以尽可能地在用罗马音，有印象的有：<ul><li>赤眼的夏娜（第三季因为没看懂就没看了）、Fate Stay/Night 、武装神姬、零之使魔、命运石之门、电波女与青春男</li></ul></li></ul><p>我在 U 盘里也保存了从动漫之家（那时候好像还是 178 动漫）下的物语，凉宫春日，和奈亚子的轻小说的 txt ，供上机的时候看。</p><p>回到记录上来，iPod touch 的记录倒是有云上贵州给我留着，摘录几个以供观赏：</p><p>2012/1/13</p><p>“看了”</p><p>没有别的内容。大概是记录了我那一天看了什么，但是出于什么原因没有记下来。</p><p>2012/1/23</p><p>“おはよ,sinnen。”</p><p>至少这时候开始学平假名了。虽然说 MO6 是潜在动力，最直接的学日语的原因还是因为想学唱歌吧。最先会唱的是千本樱，那时候是对着罗马音唱。那时候我假名输入用的不利索——这也是我 Miku Flick 不会打的原因之一，另外一个原因就是菜——所以估计是用的罗马音键盘。</p><p>2012/1/30</p><p>“何も無い。(^_^)”</p><p>确实除了这句话什么都没有。</p><p>2012/1/30</p><p>“1.２３のsinnen-&gt;sinnnen 新年”</p><p>“1.23 おはよ-&gt;お早う”</p><p>一些更正。N 到底要不要多写一个我到现在还不是百分之一百肯定。</p><p>2012/11/25</p><p>“FSN 7 14:55SAO 21武装神姫 8Robotics;Notes 7ハヤテのごとく 3 8”</p><p>FSN 指 Fate Stay/Night, 14:55 可能是看到 14:55 的意思。SAO 是刀剑神域的英文首字母。最后一个是指旋风管家的第三季的第八集，这是那一年的冬季番。如果仔细看的话，这里的武装神姬，其实最后一个字是姫。鉴于那时候我不知道这个字念 cheng 上声，这应该也是用日语输入法打的。</p><p>2013/1/1</p><p>”Bakemonogatari  1-11</p><p>2013-1-1</p><p>Happy new year!“</p><p>明显我在这一天看了化物语的 1 到 11 集。</p><p>之后最早的记录就到 16 年，我上大学之后了。冒头的是这个 copypasta：</p><p>2016/11/16“总有人问我，笑话我，都十八岁的成年人了，大学生或者是高中生了，还玩这些废萌的海王星什么的有意思吗？</p><p>海王星大概是我们这一代青少年的回忆之一，“就像打碎Uzume的水晶”。海王星自然是一系列以盈利为目的的游戏，但是也是日本的neta教育游戏之一。诚然，从一开始，很多人因为海王星系列的“地雷”而放弃了后面的海王星。但是，CH拿到了更多的钱，也确实把一部又一部海王星做的越来越好。超次元尝到了初代的甜头，mk2开始变得深奥而寓意深刻，U又把动作带入了故事里。到了神次元，Victory自不必说，PP又是一部暖心之作。</p><p>到了去年的新次元，海王星的neta已经让我这个成年人开始深刻反思：已经成年的我是否深刻的理解了梦与希望，羁绊和抉择？很多人觉得海王星是一部萌豚游戏，但是萌豚时候的我们真的能完全吃透其中的内涵吗？就像父母不理解Nep一样，我们也可能没有理解Uzume。并非智商并非情商，而是我的“心商”没到吧。空有应试教育拔高的智商和中国式迂回套路情商的我们，或许还需要一颗坚定的心来带我们走对路。而相比于我们作为并非硬核玩家去看热评的各大3A，我宁愿选择玩懂我自以为萌豚时候就懂了的海王星。”</p><p>海王星替换的是什么我记得不太得了，隐约记得这是发在日语协会群里的玩意儿，所以大概是奥特曼吧，那个群里有个喜欢奥特曼的人。</p><p>除此之外，我也用这个 iPod touch 存了一些轻小说，如上面提及的放在 U 盘里的那些。</p><hr><p>我有印象的追番是从 12 年的冬季，《中二病也想谈恋爱！》开始的。前半段是在优酷看的，后半段在 Bilibili ，也就是 B 站上看的。那时候看别人都在结尾撒花，而我没有 B 站号，于是就把完结撒花发到 QQ 空间里去了。如果有小学同学知道我是死宅，那这大概就是原因所在。同时期的武装神姬我也在追。《刀剑神域》虽然也在追，但是也是在后半段（日语和英语会用 cour 来指跨季度的一季动画，和 season 区分开来，我是从第二个 cour）开始追的。</p><p>13 年春季追的番也无史可考。B 站只保存了 3 个月的历史记录。上面说的《俺修罗》也是看了小说之后就没看动画了，《魔王勇者》似乎也是这样。唯一有印象的是《我的妹妹是「大阪大妈」》。从那时候我就有了优先原作的倾向：会优先去看原作的轻小说或者漫画，而不是看改编动画。</p><p>那段时间我也第一次接触了 R18 的 galgame 。途径大概是那时经常上的毛站（ <a href="http://acgzone.us">acgzone.us</a> ，现已关闭）上看到的，被司田的作画吸引而下载的《五彩斑斓的世界》（由于其日文名，也被称色鸟鸟）。因为打完《世界》之后开始打《五彩斑斓的光芒》（也称光鸟鸟，不过原名顺序应该是鸟鸟光），而《光芒》我有的最早的存档也是在 13 年，因此推断是在 12 - 13 年通关色鸟鸟的。当时很喜欢黑长直。</p><hr><p>同样是 13 年，Vocaloid 我还很经常听。Jin 投稿的《Loss Time Memory》仅用一个月就在 niconico 突破百万播放，而以此为契机，我也接触到了 Jin 的一系列共享世界观的歌曲，这个系列被称为《阳炎 Project》。我依稀记得当时想学唱这首，和 n-buna 的《夜明けと蛍》。</p><p>我有印象的此类 vocaloid 歌曲的媒体化中，只有阳炎是走的最远的——书籍化，漫画化，甚至动画化。虽然我不太记得动画的内容了，只记得每集对应一首歌。像平成 Project 停留在歌曲，终焉的书签 Project 也因为 suzumu 中道崩殂而不了了之。2015 年及以后，我就没怎么关心 V 家了，至少贴吧是再也不逛了，所以这类消息就不得而知了。</p><h2 id="平缓期">平缓期</h2><p>上了高中，我感觉自己过得就是一个正常人的生活了。除了每周末回家的时候能得闲，住学校的时候跟二次元基本是无缘的。而在高中的这段时间我也一点记忆都没有。除了读了英文版的《1984》和《挪威的森林》以外，就不记得有什么课外活动了。</p><p>学校里，就像许多其他学校一样，都有一个动漫社。不过我没有加入。</p><p>印象里我还是看了很多轻小说的，但由于没有记录，也不确定是否是这段时间看的。比如说，当时学院战斗类型的轻小说井喷，我也看了不少：新约某魔法的禁书目录、绝对双刃、学园都市的六芒星、盟约的利维坦、最弱无败的神装机龙巴哈姆特、绯弹的亚里亚、三坪间的侵略者、如果折断她的旗，等等。还有许多名声不大的。这些书基本都是只记得看过，不记得内容，过目就忘的那种。因为忘了剧情，也就没有追下去了。</p><p>为了找书，我也经常去轻国论坛转悠，不过没混出个名堂来，大多数锁权限的书依旧看不了。</p><p>动画也时不时有看，但是不记得有看完的。基本是去看原作了。再者，人气大的作品基本都是动画化的，所以我这里照着萌娘百科的列表，来列一下13-14年除了上文提及过的，我看了原作的动画。</p><p>13年：学生会的一己之见、GJ部（少有的我追完了的动画）、问题儿童来自异世界？、打工吧!魔王大人、我的青春恋爱物语果然有问题、约会大作战、我的妹妹哪有这麼可爱、人鱼又上钩（这个没看多少，另外一个跟人鱼结婚的漫画倒是看完了）、变态王子与不笑猫、要听爸爸的话、只有神知道的世界、High School DxD、侵略！乌贼娘、出包王女（和 Darkness）、机巧少女不会受伤、我的脑内恋碍选项、萌萌侵略者 OUTBREAK COMPANY、Strike The Blood。</p><p>14年：伪恋、属性同好会（可能是后来才看的）、漫画家与助手、漆黑的子弹（还在等第八卷）、No Game No Life、剑灵（玩了一会儿就退坑了，网游不适合我）、希德尼娅的骑士、棺姬嘉依卡、星刻的龙骑士、目隐都市的演绎者（也就是之前说的阳炎 Project 动画）、斩·赤红之瞳！、月刊少女野崎君、日常系的异能战斗、甘城光辉游乐园、记录的地平线。</p><p>不过很多我也没有看到完结（比如棺姬只看了前两卷）。再者因为我也不经常去逛 B 站了，而是更多地逛轻小说站，所以看书和漫画的时间也不一定就是紧跟着动画播出。</p><h2 id="复发期">复发期</h2><p>上了大学之后，整个人似乎放纵了许多，漫画和轻小说又看了起来，但动画是基本不看了，就算是看，也少有能看完一季的。印象里有看完的有 2017 年的兽娘动物园，2018 年的 Pop Team Epic。没看完的有野良神，紫罗兰永恒花园，等等。</p><p>游戏也多打了很多。虽然在 2013 注册的 Steam 账号，但买第一个游戏还是直到上大学，有了银联卡才有的事，那是 2016 年。顺便一提，我买的第一个 Steam 游戏，If My Heart Had Wings，只打了一个开头，到现在都没打完。</p><p>如果用一个词形容高中到现在我的二次元历程的话，那就是始乱终弃。比起打完的游戏，永远是没打完的游戏多。看完的轻小说远不及没看完的（连载太长可能也是一个原因，比如农林）。</p><p>换言之，上了大学之后，我看的轻小说更偏向于短篇，少有名气的那些了；另外一方面，玩的游戏明显增加了，至于玩了哪些游戏，还有日渐疏远的动漫到底怎么了，就请听下回分解吧。如果有人希望有下回的话。</p>]]>
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