I had a dream.
It’s the two of us. Beside the river. Orange light flickered in the water. Grass whirled up in the summer breeze.
There are no words between us. There is nothing in between us. Shoulders to shoulders, we watched the sun going down.
I wished, again and again, that the happiness would persist. But it wouldn’t.
Phantom, imaginary, unreal. All of a sudden, everything is shattered into pieces. I reached out my arms, and what I got was only the freezing air of mid-winter.
Seasons shifted. And I was not myself anymore.
Since when, I stopped enjoy being alone.
Since when, I started pursuing the warmth of others.
Since when, I became feared of losing you.
My vision blurred. I tried to hold back my tears. But I couldn’t help it.
I was like a broken glass. Tears flowed out of me. Memories flowed out of me. And soon there was nothing left of me.
I tried to forget, but I could never forget.
There’s no way out with a feeling forever unfulfilled, isn’t it?
I want to disappear, along with this painful past. However much you changed my life, I’m the only one to put an end to it.
When the last leaf came to the ground, I made up my mind.
The car horn silenced. The winter sun disappeared. The poison was drunk.
The time the cup was emptied, suddenly, your smile occurred to me.
You are the worst. I struggled to make a smile as well. It must be the ugliest smile in my life.